Friday, December 10, 2010

Dating + Dieting = Maintenance... Uh oh...

When I planned out this whole weight loss journey, I figured I'd get stuck every now and then, lose more slowly as I got smaller, etc. But I forgot to account for one major influence in how quickly I lost weight... dating someone! I was single from when I started until mid-October, and I was losing at a pretty decent pace. I went from 200 lbs to around 155 lbs in that time frame, which is AWESOME! I finally felt good about my body, I'm fitting into tiny clothes that looked like they'd never fit over my thighs or waist, and I don't feel trapped anymore. I'm guessing its a combination of those things giving me a confidence boost that I ended up meeting Randy and we started dating.
That's where things get complicated. I didn't go out and drink/socialize much in the previous 8 months. It was probably about once or twice a month, when I tracked down my friends or visited someone, etc. The weekends I was able to stay on track easily. I could work out both mornings, eat properly, and I didn't drink, except for maybe one beer or a glass of wine. OK, maybe I was a bit of a diet hermit... haha. But it worked.
The past 2 months of dating have been amazing, I go out on the weekends, we socialize, go for drinks, eat dinner... basically like a normal person. That's the problem though, being a normal person for me makes it hard to lose weight. When I go out, I don't want to order a salad every damn time. Or skip having anything to drink. I want to enjoy myself and the time with Randy. He's a beer connoisseur  so w'ell order some pretty tasty beers when we go to dinner. And then usually followed by drinks somewhere. And honestly, I don't want that to be something I have to give up just to keep shrinking.
So I'm a bit torn. I really am happy with how I look, despite being (according to a very messed up BMI system) 10 lbs overweight still. But I'm a size 8 in pants, which in my opinion looks very good on me. And I'm a size S/M in tops. SMALL CLOTHES FIT ME! I always hated having to pick up XL shirts, I'd discretely grab one from the bottom of the stack and hope no one saw where it came from. So being able to grab one right off the top is amazing. And I'm actually fit, my arm muscles (not to brag) are kind of amazing... haha. Like DEFINED MUSCLES.  I still have a muffin top tummy and my thighs are a bit chunky, but it's shrinking still. So, basically these last 10-15 lbs are vanity pounds. I don't look bad by any means, Randy still thinks I'm gorgeous, and I really am happy.
So the conclusion of all of this is that taking everything into account, I think I'm doing pretty darn well. I've taught myself enough this year that I've maintained my weight (even lost 1-2 lbs slowly since Oct.) with all this going on. Not gained, not an ounce. I've slowly been going from around 154-156 to now being around 152-154. Honestly, I'll call that success, and it's Christmastime to boot! Plus I killed my metabolism by not eating enough in Oct/Nov so it's still playing catch-up.
Maybe I'm saying all this to make myself feel better, but I know I'm eventually gonna get to where I want to be. It is just a number on a scale. I'd be happier with how my clothes fit (or a bikini or lingerie... hehe). Sure, I want to be a size 6, but is that really that much different than a size 8? I keep looking at my latest profile picture and thinking "Damnnn I look good. For the first time, I really don't look fat AT ALL!" And I think that's the mentality I need to have. Pounds after this are really a bonus, I'm happy and healthy and I know what I need to do. And that includes spending time with Randy and enjoying it.

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