Thursday, October 20, 2011

I'm Back in the Game!

I admit, I scared myself there. I've been so focused since February 2010 on getting healthy, losing weight, and just in general being happy. And slowly I got comfortable with my weight (148-150 with the intent to eventually get down to 140), with my eating (a treat isn't a bad thing), and my schedule (well, if I don't work out every day it won't kill me). And then comfort turned into complacent. And then just lazy. No more!

9 day ago, I came back from a business trip immediately followed by a weekend in Jersey, stepped on my scale and saw 160.0. I was angry and frustrated, but there was a new feeling I haven't had in a few months. Pure motivation! I've seen that number before, a year ago, and it was on a downward trend to 150. I hadn't seen my weight go up more than 2-3 pounds in many months. And it made me realize that I need to finish what I started!

And of course, I picked the worst possible time to get "back in gear", but is there ever a perfect time? Life happens. I have my birthday and 1st anniversary with my boyfriend this Saturday. I have a friend's wedding next Saturday. A weekend trip in November. But that isn't going to stop me from keeping my focus. I've been bad about fitting in working when I get busy. And letting myself completely go in restaurants. Really with no excuse other than I got lazy. And I know as well as anyone that losing weight and being healthy takes effort. So here's what I'm gonna do:

1. Work out at least 5 times a week. Even if it's for 30 minutes, it's still keeping my metabolism going. I've been able to work out all but one day since last Tuesday and it's helped so much. And a few extra hundred calories to absorb any birthday treats always helps!

2. Be smart when ordering food that I didn't make. Restaurants have been especially bad, and I know I'll be drinking beer on my birthday. No need to compound the beer calories with crap food calories. There are delicious, healthy things i can choose instead.

3. Don't go over my 1500 calories, preferably stay around 1300. That's the biggest change I've made in the past week, dropped my calories down from an entirely too generous number. I'm eating lots of protein, fruits and such, I just need to minimize the extra snacking. Therefore, no more Triscuits, hahaha.

Hopefully with keeping these things in mind, I'll have a great birthday weekend and I won't be playing catchup for 2 weeks after it. I have my friend's wedding next weekend too, so fitting in workouts will be a bit trickier. Hopefully working out Mon-Fri with Sat and Sun off will be OK. I feel so much better and my clothes look better that I'm not giving up now. Maybe this will give me the push I need to finally get further into the 140s! It started with just getting back down to 150, but if I'm losing and it continues, that would be AMAZING. We'll see how it goes, a week at a time.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

A Neverending Battle

It had to happen at some point: I got comfortable. I got a bit complacent, and I got, I'll admit it, lazy.

After taking a step back from being completely neurotic about the numbers on the scale, I felt a bit better about not having to worry about every bite and every workout. I was OK with being around 150, knowing that if I let my body settle a bit and then kicked it into high gear again, I could start losing. Well, I took a few too many steps back...

All the way back to October 2010. The last time I saw 160 on the scale (probably more like Sept. actually). But anyways, I've been traveling non-stop it felt like since the last week of August. A few days in California for business, a trip to Phoenix to see a friend, spending the entire weekend at my boyfriend's place, another business trip (this one was 9 days) and two weekend trips to Jersey mixed in there too. The result, a month of eating out too much and only getting in 2 workouts a week if I was lucky. And then I realized what I really had done last night. I stepped on the scale after finally being back in my apartment after 4 days of being gone.


I thought I was losing my mind. So I reset the scale and tried again. Same exact number. SERIOUSLY? I went from flirting with below 150s to flirting with above 160? In A MONTH??? It's possible to backpeddle that much in a month???

It was a wake up call that I needed. I saw how easy it is to completely erase what was effectively a year of work. I've been great at keeping right around that 150 point, but I know now that I can't let myself have that much leeway with what I eat and when I workout. I think the food is the biggest issue. All the restaurant food I've had lately, between traveling and with friends/boyfriend/family, is adding way too many calories that I'm not burning off. I need to make smarter decisions when I choose what to eat, I don't need a pizza with 2 beers and some dessert. There are plenty of healthy options out there, and I don't need to drink that much beer (although it is delicious).

And as for the working out, I haven't been making time for it and I need to. Part of it was the crazy schedule, but the other part is just not feeling like it and letting that side of my brain win the battle. I finally packed some gym clothes for tonight, and I'm going for an hour after work. I need to get in the habit again and I'm in dire need of some cardio to burn off lots of calories.

So the moral of this cautionary tale... ANYONE can slip up. I know a lot of people like to read my blogs for advice and a point of view from someone who really successfully conquered a weight problem. But, here's proof that it's possible to take a few steps back while trying to move forward in life. I don't like that my work pants are a tiny bit snug. Or that I didn't want to wear a shirt I liked because it was a bit tighter around my stomach. Or that I couldn't run a full mile outside without stopping (when I've done 5K+ at a time before).

But, it's a place I can get back to with some hard work and focus. I've already gone food shopping to get things to make for my meals (especially packing my lunch), I packed the gym clothes, and most importantly, I'm aware that there's a problem. And I'm going to fix it. I have a week and a half until my 25th birthday (Oct 22nd) and my one year anniversary with Randy (on the same day, haha) and I want to get most of this extra weight gone. I know a lot of it is water weight from all the restaurant food, so I'm hoping it comes off fast. I need to look hot in a new dress for that day! I saw 157.7 on the scale the morning (I know, terrifying!) but I don't doubt that I can be back around 152-153 by next week. And hopefully a few weeks after that be back into the 140s. I need to get that fire back that I've had for the last year and a half.

And most importantly, learn to balance life and the scale. It's not easy, as I've learned, but it's something I'm going to have to do if I want to make this change permanent.