Tuesday, November 23, 2010

I Think I've Gone Overboard...

I think I've fallen into ANOTHER plateau... the last one was in August when I got stuck between 163-165 for a month. Now I'm stuck between 153-155 since my birthday weekend Oct 22nd. I've seen the scale dip as low as 152.8, but it jumps back up to 154ish as soon as I have a day of eating like a normal person... which is starting to worry me.
I'll be the first to admit, I can be kind of obsessive. And I'm someone who likes numbers. Combine this all with trying to lose a large amount of weight and it can be a successful but potentially dangerous combination. I've been looking back at my food diary from the past month. On days where it's not some special occasion (like a visit home to Jersey or date night with my recently acquired boyfriend), I average around 1100 calories. Which are tightly rationed, planned, counted and worked off after I get home from work in the evening. Breakfast is a Vitatop (100 calories), lunch is often a salad (350ish calories) and dinner is Shakeology and something small like veggies or a lean pocket that will usually total 400-500 calories. I don't really snack during the day, I drink coffee. And this information scares me a bit. It seriously looks like I'm starving myself! 
Maybe I am, I mean, 1100 calories isn't enough. I can't live off of a meal replacement shake forever.  I can't drink coffee instead of eating real food. I can't workout for an hour every day and expect my body to just magically burn off all the fat if I'm not feeding it. I swore I'd never get to this point... I'm only 13ish pounds away from my goal and a healthy weight. But I really don't think I can keep going as I am. 
So, I think I need a new gameplan. First off, I need to eat. On days where I let myself eat normally, it feels good, I don't go crazy, but since my body isn't used to the calories it holds onto them and I'm up a pound or two for a week. So, I need to get my body used to 1300-1400 calories a day again, which is what I was eating. I also need to start eating real food again. I would have chicken or fish or something for dinner, not a shake that replaces all of it. And perhaps my workouts need shaking up, I'm gonna get back into running at the gym two times a week like I used to. Turbo Fire has done wonders for my stamina (after a HIIT interval my breathing is back to normal in like 30 seconds even tho my HR is in the 170s). 
Hopefully mixing it up with help me get rid of these last few pounds that I want gone. I mean, realisitically I could stop here. I'm a size 8, I'm happy with how I look... kinda. Now that I've seen how far I can go, I really want to be confident in my bikini, not just passable. So, I'm gonna keep going because I know I can, However, I know for sure I can't keep going like this. It's not healthy in the long run and my body has been telling me that for weeks. I'm just finally realizing that I have to listen to it! Weight loss is a tricky thing... not enough committment and results are hard to get... too much focus and obsession can easily lead to the situation I'm in now. At least I see it and I'm working on it. Plus, I want to enjoy the holidays, starving myself isn't the way to do it.

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