As much as I hate to admit it, there is one major reason that is driving why I want to be healthier and lose weight. Guys. I can tell myself all I want that their opinion doesn't matter, I don't need their acceptance, and I don't care what guys think of me or if they're attracted to me. But I do!! I honestly do, and I think every girl does to some degree.
Before you think I'm shallow or something, I really did start this journey because I wasn't happy with myself, for many many reasons, and that I was out of excuses for why I was the way I was. I didn't feel comfortable in my own skin, and I think that negativity projected to my luck with guys. I have plenty of guy friends, I'm a girl in engineering so it's inevitable. However, most of those guys friends aren't friends by my choice. Yes, I was attracted to them, and no, they weren't into me, at least not enough to date me outright (friends with benefits is a whole other story... one that I'm not going to bore you all with). I had one guy tell me I'm a better friend that girlfriend, another said he'll hook up with me but wasn't interesting in dating. It takes a toll on the self esteem. I'm not saying I didn't have any luck, just none with finding someone to date.
So now fast forward to today, one of my guy friends is super excited for me, can't wait to see me to see how much smaller I've gotten since the last time we saw each other, and is really encouraging. He's a great wingman... haha. Then there's the other friend. Who has once again started hitting on me, and I know the fact that I'm smaller has a big role in that. Now THAT is shallow... haha. But this weekend I realized that my own confidence has to come first, no matter what a guy thinks. I talked to guys at the bar on Friday and Saturday night, no problem. I was confident, I was joking around, I wasn't afraid to tell them I'm an engineer (yes, that scares off guys pretty fast sometimes). And I was confident dancing (thanks Zumba) and had success there. So losing weight has really helped my confidence, and it hasn't hurt that guys have noticed and paid more attention to me. I'm hoping to find the right guy somewhere, DC bars are a decent place to start, but fixing me first has been the major step towards that.
So the moral of the story, yes guys go for the skinnier girls, but they also like the confident ones. So even if I'm not the smallest girl at the bar, as long as I look and feel good, I'm going for it! Next time, I want a phone number... haha. Baby steps...