2 Years on MFP! And Still Learning...

I realized that I started the whole "weight loss journey" 2 years ago yesterday. How in the world has 2 years gone by already? And how in the world have I managed to not only lose about 60 pounds (give or take depending on the day), but I've kept if off for a year on top of that!

I know that dieting is usually a start and stop process. You get really into wanting to lose weight, manage to keep it up for a month and lose 5 pounds, and then old habits creep back in and you're right where you started. That's not how my mindset works for anything in life, weight loss included.

If I set my mind to something, I HAVE to finish it. I've been like that since I was a little kid. Getting into programs in school, getting into my #1 choice college, getting a job in the career I wanted. It was never a question of "if" this is going to happen. I knew it would if I worked at it. So I approached my next big challenge with weight loss in the same mindset. I had just started my job right out of school and I knew if I didn't change my habits now, it would be MUCH harder later. New routine I had to get used to, new city, more money to buy healthy food and such. It was the ideal time to go for it. And I did 100%. It was pretty awesome that the weight came off without too much difficulty. It also helped that I didn't have much of a social life in DC yet, so I could focus and not eat out in restaurants too much. After about 9 months of successfully losing weight, I was down to around 155 in October of 2010 and I met my current boyfriend.

Year 2 was SO completely different than Year 1. I was down to 150 last February, in a relationship, rocking an entire wardrobe of new clothes that were size 6 (when I started a size 16), and I was training for a 5K! Seriously? Me... running... 3.1 miles?? Yeah, I thought I was nuts too. But May 1st I ran my first 5K without stopping in DC, along Pennsylvania Ave and past the Capitol Building. I did 2 more that spring with my best time of 35:26. I wore a bikini this summer! And I did all of this while maintaining my weight loss.

I admit this fall got a bit chaotic, I like to eat dinner and have drinks with the boyfriend every weekend. A few pounds crept back on from the holidays, but I still kept up my habits 90% of the time, working out at least 4 days a week. It's helping me realize that you can't stop living your life forever. Sometimes you have to travel for work, eat a delicous dinner your boyfriend cooked you, or just enjoy a few beers. And while I battled with feeling guilty and angry with myself for "giving in," I need to learn that it's part of life! I always use the term Diet Hermit and it's something that I don't think is realisitic. It's great for getting weight off more quickly in the beginning, but it's not something that can be done long term.

So here I am with the first day of Year 3 in this whole thing. I'm right around 155, still fitting into my size 6 clothes (which is awesome because it's really expensive to keep buying new clothes). I admit my habits haven't been as stellar as usual in the past 2 weeks, but that doesn't stop me from getting right back on track today. I have another 5K scheduled for March 25th and it's helping me keep in focus. I still have a goal around 145 in mind, which is 10 pounds away. It seems SO far, even compared to when I was 200 pounds and looking at my 150 goal as INSANE! But I did it. And I can do it again. Even if it takes all of Year 3, I know I'll get there at some point. And stay there! I just have to keep reminding myself of where I started.

And where I am today (well, this was taken in October on my 25th birthday, exactly 3 years after the picture above).

Who knows what I'll look like next year :)

My Own Worst Enemy

It seems like every time I get a good routine going and lose a few pounds, I immediately start to get a little to complacent and I blow it. Of course it happened again this past weekend with eating out too much. I did great all week, didn't cheat at all, and managed to lose 1.8 lbs by Friday over the previous 2 weeks. Then I ate out Friday night, Saturday night, Sunday lunch and Sunday dinner. UGH! Sodium bomb, even though I tried to make good food choices. Plus I drank Saturday and Sunday night (a few beers each night).

There's not much point in doing so well Mon-Thurs or Friday just to blow it every single weekend. It's start to piss me off, even though I know it's something completely under my control. I spend the weekends with my boyfriend, we pretty much spend every Saturday night going out for dinner and drinks. It's how we relax and unwind after working all week and get to spend some time together. Honestly, it's not really something I'm willing to change. I just need to do better in those situations. It also doesn't help that I screwed up Friday and Sunday night too. If I'm gonna let myself have a treat once a week, it needs to stay at once a week. Not 3 days in a row.

I really want to get to my intial goal of 150 by the end of the month, but I just beat myself up about little slip ups that I know I can avoid. Honestly, I expect better of myself and it just makes me angry that I don't follow through with it. I just want these 5 pounds gone so I can be content again. And I know it's me being fixated on the scale again, but trust me, I'm not building muscle to make up for it since I do mostly cardio for exercise. It's my own indulgences and water weight (or pizza weight...).

Another thing that also really gets on my nerves is that I can't handle the same diet that someone who has always been a lower weight can. If I want to maintain my weight, I need to eat below what is really estimated as maintenance calories. Maybe my metabolism hasn't caught up yet, maybe it just sucks to begin with and it's not going to change. But I can't stand that other people can eat what the want, kind of exercise, and stay the same weight. If I let myself do that, I'd gain weight back (and I did for a few months by adding about 10 pounds from my lowest weight that I hit over the summer). I'm not asking to be 5'2" and 110 pounds. I just want to be a healthy 140. But after being considerably overweight my entire life, I just don't know if that's ever going to happen. Maybe if I had no life, no boyfriend and no desire to ever go anywhere but the gym, work and home. But that's completely unrealistic. I just need to do the best I can and hope that it gets me somewhere near 140. I'll take 145! Lately, I'm starting to think I'll take 150. I'm just still not happy with how I look, and it was better when I was in the 140s. It'll never be perfect, but if I can't reel in the bad habits, I have no chance of getting there.

Sorry if this is a bit of a melancholy post, but I know people like it when they get an honest picture of what this journey is really like. I've been doing this for 2 years this month now, lost about 60 pounds at this point. It's starting to get exhausting to do this day in and day out... I really hope I don't have to workout 5 days a week and eat 1200 calories a day forever to stay this way...

Little Things Add Up

So what happens when you take a bunch of small, easy things you can do and you add them all together... you get big weight loss numbers! At least big for me, since I'm under 10 lbs from my initial goal of 145. I haven't made any crazy drastic changes in the last month. But I'm down 4.7 lbs as of this morning. And it's really been the little tweaks that I've made to my habits that have helped me to get to that point. This is after being the same weight/gaining for the past 3 months. It doesn't take a lot to reverse the trend!

- Look at what you're eating and swap out one or two things for something healthier.
I was snacking on granola bars and stuff during the day, so I swapped that out for an apple every afternoon. Much more filling and it's all natural. My dinner was too often something processed from Trader Joes like pasta. So I swapped that out for chicken breast (Whole Foods sells it already coated with a parmesan mix) and a sweet potato. It's not an overhaul of my diet, but it helps to get rid of some higher sodium, lower nutrional value foods for ones that are better for you.

- Workout a little bit harder
I had gotten lazy in the gym, I'll admit it. But I was still going 3-4 times a week. So I vowed to really sweat if I was going to the gym, at least 3 days out of the 4 that I go during the week. So, I took up running, signed up for a 5K and now that's my workout most of the time. I still use the other cardio machines on occasion, but I try to avoid them since my HR doesn't get nearly as high as when I run.

- Be honest with logging food
I found myself nibbling and snacking on things and I wouldn't consider it really eating, it was just a bite or two right? Well, they add up! I was eating 50-80 calories of "nibbling" before I even ate my dinner at night! Just because I was hungry and didnt want to wait 15 minutes to cook the chicken, haha. So, I started logging it, and it's helped me to stop doing it! And I've been counting out the number of crackers or crisps and putting them in a bowl, so I don't take more than a serving and I don't eat half the package at once.

- Stick with what you're doing!
I know I'm incredibly impatient, so forcing myself to stick to what I'm doing for more than a week has helped a ton in getting things moving again. I have an off week every now and then, I didn't lose at all last week, but I stuck to it and I lost 1.8 lbs this week. So if the scale isn't moving for you and you're doing something new, just give it another week or two. It really does take that long for your body to "get with the program".

So there's my words of wisdom for the day. This weekend will be a bit challenging since I'm going to a Superbowl party, but I'm planning to eat smart and not nibble on any of the snacks. It's OK to have one slice of pizza... but when you add eating chips or something while watching the game, a few beers and more chips, it's a mess. I get to pick one treat and that's it. Same goes with any eating out I might do this weekend with the boyfriend. SMART CHOICES! Doesn't have to be a huge change, but little things really do add up to big weight loss numbers :)

Beating a Dead Metabolism

Winter hibernation has a tendency to kill the motivation to exercise, eat right and make healthier choices. It felt like my metabolism went into hibernation too, along with a bit of motivation! But after one full month of getting my sorry bum back in gear, things are looking up.

I started January at 157.8 (boooooo!!!). It was the highest I had been in a year after being really good at staying around 150 for the first 9-10 months of 2011. Then that winter hibernation kicked in (I think it was the October snowstorm on the East Coast that started it all). But since January has been unseaonably warm (thank you global warming!), I've come out of hibernation and now so has my metabolism.

After 4 weeks of eating right, watching my portions and moving into my new condo (what a workout!)... I'm down to 153.3 for a total of 4.5 lbs lost. I ran an entire 5K on the treadmill without stopping in 40m, 30sec. I've been able to say no to crappy food and make healthier choices at restaurants.

And best of all, my metabolism is back! That's the really crucial part, because it helps me to absorb less than steallar food choices without gaining 3 pounds instantly. I really do feel better and more energized.

So, for anyone who's metabolism is still in hibernation, it just takes some dedication for a few weeks of eating right and working out to rev it up again. I've been keeping my calories pretty low lately to keep the weight loss going. I plan to increase it a few hundred eventually when I settle into a weight I'm comfortable with. I'm aiming for 145-150. But with how things are going, we'll see what it possible :) I'd LOVE times a million to finally hit my goal of 140. I keep making progress to get there and then something throws a wrench in the plan or my body stops cooperating. Either way, I'm going to try. At least me and my body are on the same page again :)

Give Up On Those Resolutions!

I have never seen my gym so incredibly crowded. But what else should I expect when my gym did a New Years Resolution Groupon offer for a month-long membership. So, I've decided that I need to start encouraging people to give up. There aren't enough treadmills for all of us. And here's my reasoning:

1.) Losing weight is hard. You're gonna have to eat the right food, workout regularly, turn down goodies 99% of the time, and in general live a healthy lifestyle. It's not for everyone... You might actually even start to enjoy nutrious food! Bleck.

2.) You're gonna have to buy new clothes. It's expensive to drop sizes and need new clothes. Your bank account would be much happier if you just stuck to the same size. You might even look good in those new clothes, which would cause you to buy even more!

3.) Weight loss tends to result into more self-confidence and a generally happy attitude. You're just going to confuse everyone. They might start thinking you're on something because you don't act like your normal self. Your significant other won't know what to do. And who wants to be "the happy coworker". Who wants to work with that?

4.) Plane trips are going to be more comfy with all that extra room in the seat. You might even be tempted to go on vacation and wear a swim suit! Who can afford that in this economy? Really, you're better off.

5.) All those extra compliments are just going to go to your head (resulting in Reason #3). Who wants to hear "you look awesome!" and "have you lost weight?" all day long? Its just going to distract from the important things in life, like getting that report at work done efficiently.

6.) You're going to live longer. Which means you might be around when the zombie appocolyse happens... or 2012 or whatever. You're going to have to start stockpiling for 20 years in your fallout shelter to account for that.

7.) Your doctor and pharmacy companies isn't going to be making nearly as much money off you. All those tests and pills you won't need. Who's going to fund the next Viagra or fad weight loss pill without your money?

8.) And lastly, you'll free up my treadmill for training for my 5K in March.

So there's the reasons why I think it's a good idea to give up on your New Years Resolution to go to the gym more. As you can clearly see, it's really in everyone's best interest :P

Slow and Steady... Kinda Sucks!

But it's necessary.

With numbers being a very prominent feature on MFP (tickers, weigh ins on the Newsfeed, calorie goals, etc.), it's easy to get caught up in the fever for big weight loss numbers every week. I know I get a thrill when I see the scale plummeting at a rate of a few tenths of a pound a day. But how much of that is actual fat loss, and how much of it is that I had a light dinner the night before?

I know I'm guilty of trying to "bend the scale to my will", so to speak. I'll have a protein shake for dinner the night before a weigh in. But is that really doing me any favors? In all likelyhood, it's just artificially increasing my weight loss number. And it sets me up for a huge bounce back up on the scale from the weekend if I'm not 100% strict on the food. Given that I'm in the 150s and am 5'2.5", it's not really all that realistic to see fat loss of 2 pounds a week anymore. So when I see those numbers, it's fishy and it's something that I shouldn't be trying to force myself to do.

I'm putting this out there because I know I'm not the only one in this situation. Not everyone on MFP has 50 pounds to lose anymore (even though we may have at some point in the past year or two). Not everyone even has 10 pounds to lose anymore. So it's a balance between seeing results that fit our bodies and comparing them to people who are capable of losing 2+ pounds a week. I'd love to put up huge numbers, but I need to see that I can be just as happy with one pound, or half a pound. I know it's slow and painful, but playing tricks with food and exercise and forcing my weight low for one day isn't helping.

The moral of the story is that I need to resize my expectations. I'd rather be down 1 pound this week and know that I've gotten rid of a pound of fat than be down 2 pounds and see the number jump right back up again on Monday after I ate a real meal. Hopefully by keeping a steady schedule and not inflating my weight loss number, I'll have a steady decline and I'll be able to keep it off. I really want to be in top shape once I get to my 5K race on March 25th. Lugging an extra 5-10 pounds around for 3 miles is not fun and I feel my best when I run regularly. Not fueling my body isn't going to help that at all.

Here's to hoping for a small loss tomorrow... as long as it's a loss, I'm happy.

How to Get Back on Track!

The holidays are always tough... January and adjusting to a normal schedule again is even tougher. But here are some useful tricks that I used to turn my holiday laziness around and actually lose some weight for a change instead of slowly putting it back on.

Step 1 - Get rid of the holiday stuff. I had candy and cookies and christmas tree decorations all around my apartment. It looked like and felt like the holidays. Which meant I wanted to be lazy and eat cookies! Getting it all out of the apartment really helped to reset my attitude to "time to get in gear!" No more mini Christmas tree or Christmas cards. No more cookies sitting out in plain sight. No more laziness!

Step 2 - Make friends with the gym again. I know, it sucks when all the New Years Resolutioners are packing into the gym the first few weeks of January. I cannot stand waiting for a machine. But it has to be done. It's not a good enough excuse. So I just started leaving work a bit early. It's win/win. I'm not stuck at my desk past 5pm and I get to the gym before the 6pm rush.

Step 3 - Hit the grocery store... hard. I tend to eat out a lot around the holidays. So when I got back from break, I did quite a bit of healthy food shopping. Got some things to make a healthy lunch (and save me money, my other New Year goal). Got some healthy dinner choices, and snacks. No treats. No junk food. No guilt!

Step 4 - Don't let other lazy people influence you! If you think you're still stuck in a holiday rut, most likely the people around you are. So don't give into their bad habits. Just because your coworkers think you're nuts for cutting a 410 calorie Chick Fil A breakfast biscuit in half and putting the other (untouched) half back... doesn't mean you have to feel bad. (True story, by the way... hahah, I told them to stuff it). I still went out to eat with my boyfriend this weekend... and I scoured the menu for a not-so-horrible option. Much better!

Step 5 - Put your Christmas gifts and giftcards to good use. Buy some new workout clothes. Join the gym (January IS the best time for signup deals). Get a set of weights or a new workout DVD. Something to add a bit of spice to your usual workout routine. Personally, I started running again and I signed up for a 5K on March 25th to keep me motivated with a deadline.


Since getting my lazy butt in gear, I've gone from 157.8 (UGH) to as low as 155 on Saturday morning. I'm hoping to be 150 soon enough again, maybe even lower by time I get to my 5K! But sticking to bad holiday habits will get me nowhere. So try any or all of these tips and look hot for Valentines Day... hehe.