Relighting The Fire

I just spent the last few minutes looking back at my weight loss record since I started. It was pretty awesome for the first 8 months, when I lost 45 pounds pretty quickly and didn't really plateau at all (minus a week or two). Then I slowly got my way down to 150 from 155 over another 2 months. And then for the entirety of 2011, it's been up and down within 5 pounds of 150. Plateau, maintenance, my body being content, I don't know but that's what this year has looked like.

The past week I've really been trying to assess what was different. What changed from the first half to the second half of these last 18 months? Part of it is that the last few months I've been slacking (as I've moaned about repeatedly), but there's some other unknown variable. And I think I've figured it out.

It's that motivation and earnest and unabashed determination that I had to succeed. I was full of it in the beginning. I loved how I looked, shopped for new clothes, figured out my body is capable of more than I realized. And then it sort of fizzled out when I got comfortable with my size and fitness level. I wasn't pushing myself to discover what else I was capable of.

And now I'm starting to wonder again. I'm at 154.7 lbs as of this morning, I ended 2010 at 151. My goal is to end the year 1 pound less than I was at the start. Doesn't seem like much, but to me that 1 pound might as well be 50 (which is how much I lost in 2010). It proves to myself that I'm in it for the long haul. That the weight ISN'T coming back. And that I've transformed myself into something new. But why quit there?

I need to get some momentum going into 2012. So I'm taking December to try and find what really was lighting a fire under my ass in the beginning. I want to look hot in my New Years Eve dress, and feel completely confident in my clothes, and not get tired from running after only 5 minutes (my running endurance is a bit shot right now). I need to get more strict with food, I've been giving into indulgences WAY too often and way too much. It might be the holiday season, but I want to start 2012 on the right foot.

I'm starting small. One pound a week. That's all I want to get me down to 150 for January 1st. I don't need to go crazy, hardly eat for 3 days and then the weekend throws me off. It's all about balance and keeping my days consistent. Once I'm back at 150, I can see what I want to do from there. It's still my ultimate goal to get further into the 140s. But my body put up quite the fight last time I tried, I never saw below 147 despite all my best efforts. Maybe with taking some time off the last few months, my body is ready for a bit of a shock again to drop 5 more pounds. But I won't know until I try. It might prove that I can do it, or it might prove that 150 is a good point for me.

Whatever my ultimate goal is, the fire to find out have been relit. Hopefully this motivation gets me through the holiday season and into January with lots to look forward to next year.