After well over a month of seeing the larger number, I had to do something to motivate me to get it back down again. So when I logged into MFP this morning, I did this...
Last recorded weight: 155.7 lbs on 11/18/11
Yep, its not fun to admit, but I can't keep pretending that "oh, it's just extra sodium and it'll be back to normal by Friday". Well, it's Friday, and that's the new normal... and I don't like it. I'm only 5'2", 5 lbs makes a difference. My work pants were a tad snug, my shirts weren't laying flat, and it was frustration because it seemed like I'd get on track for a day or two, and then something would come up and all self restraint goes out the window. Especially with working out, some days I just don't feel like it. And part of it is I think the need to change it up.
Anyway, it just goes to show that it can happen to anyone. Even though I've lost (now) 59 lbs total, it is going to be a life-long battle to keep it off. I'm happy that I've caught myself after only a few pounds. I've noticed that I haven't been my usual, healthy self lately and it's disappointing. But I really don't see my life getting any less busy, I've said this a million times: I can't be a diet hermit. So I'm just going to have to start working in healthier choices into my busy schedule. It helps that Randy and I have said we need to eat out less because it's expensive, it's also unhealthy! I'm well on my way to buying a condo, and I need to save money. But it also allows me to finally buy an elliptical! It will be nice having a machine right in my second bedroom to hop on at any time. I've gotten a bit bored with Turbo Fire, I've done the workouts for a year now.
I also haven't been setting goals for myself lately. I think without a defined goal, I let myself slide too much. So... here they are:
- Get back down to 150 by Christmas
- Don't let my weight swing up 5 lbs and back down a few in the span of a couple days, it just goes to show that I went overboard that day
- Get back into working out regularly - and with intensity! No slacking, even if it's just a 30 minute workout, I need to go 100%
- Make much smarter food choices. I'm fine when I stick to my usual routine for breakfast, lunch and dinner. But throw in a beer, a meal out, Donut Thursdays, and my weakness in Trader Joes (I have to give away those cookies...), and you have too much temptation.
- LOG EVERYTHING! Even if it's terrible... it's better to see the damage and know that I need to do better
So, hopefully these get me through the month of December, with all the holiday goodies, parties, Christmas cookies and busier than usual schedules. Randy's birthday is sandwiched in there too. But seeing that ticker every day will hopefully push me in the direction that I need. I can't afford to let this trend continue! Literally, I don't have the extra money for new pants :P
Friday, November 18, 2011
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Ran Over By The Wagon
Lately, I've been hanging on to "the wagon". But in the last few weeks, I flat out fell off of it and got ran over by it. Repeatedly.
I will be the first to admit that I've been a bit too generous with myself. October was such a busy month with trips, birthdays, and food opportunities. My weight has been yo-yoing from as low as 152 to as high as 160. That can't be healthy! All in the span of a few weeks. I let special events, like my birthday, turn into an entire weekend of eating whatever I want. That's happened two weekends in a row and it's showing on the scale... and on my sillouette!
Going into the holiday season now, I can't afford to slip any more. I weigh more right now than I did this time last year (only by a few pounds, but still...). My maintenance is slowly slipping and I really don't want to start an upward trend. I don't feel as good as I used to, not as motivated. I thought it was just getting used to maintaining, but it seems I've just gotten back into some old habits with food and ordering whatever I want.
So I need a plan. Fast. I'm not about to let a year and a half of hard work start to slip. Surprisingly, my November doesn't look as chaotic as I would have expected. Randy is out of town this weekend so I'm on my own (aka no restaurant food). The following weekend we're going to Williamsburg, and the weekend before Thanksgiving I don't have anything. That leaves me a fairly steady schedule to stick to of working out and not eating too much.
And I didn't realize it, but I kind of miss running. When I ran, my weight wasn't nearly as all over the place. I was sticking right around 150 (usually lower) but once I stopped running regularly, it's been creeping back up. Now that I have my Touchpad to watching movies on the treadmill, it's really helping to get me to the gym and run. I've been doing intervals, my endurance is shot and I need to build it up again, so speed intervals are my weapon of choice. And I think I need a new inhaler, mine isn't spraying very well since it's kept in my giant purse and probably is somewhat broken. Anyways, no more excuses. "The treadmills are always full at the gym." So... wait for one! "I don't have the energy." Well, muster some up! There are a million reasons not to... and a million reasons why I need to.
And as for food... I think I need to avoid Italian restaurants for a while. I ate entirely too much buttery pasta this weekend. And bread. I need to go back to actually thinking about the nutritional content of the food I'm choosing! Not what looks delicious. I haven't been drinking that much, so that helps.
I know a lot of people who read my blog look to me to be an example of how to successfully lose weight... and keep it off! And I'm still 60 pounds lighter than when I started. But... that number has shrunk a bit. I really need to be accountable, log on MFP what my weight is, and work to get that number down. And with all of you watching and keeping track of me, I can stick to it. Time to step up my game!
I've said this a few times in the last two months, but I really need to make the committment to stick to it. I've gotten used to being thinner. I like looking in the mirror and not hating what I see. But I also know that I can do better. I need to see those 140s again, I'm not about to give up and I still would love to reach my ultimate goal of 140. I just need to focus and go back to what was working for me. Healthy food, lots of INTENSE exercise, and some extra motivation.
Despite that, I had my birthday 2 weeks ago, and I felt more amazing than I have in my life. The photo below says it all... I've NEVER EVER thought I could wear a dress like this. It's just motivation to make it look even more amazing when I likely wear it again on New Years Eve.
I will be the first to admit that I've been a bit too generous with myself. October was such a busy month with trips, birthdays, and food opportunities. My weight has been yo-yoing from as low as 152 to as high as 160. That can't be healthy! All in the span of a few weeks. I let special events, like my birthday, turn into an entire weekend of eating whatever I want. That's happened two weekends in a row and it's showing on the scale... and on my sillouette!
Going into the holiday season now, I can't afford to slip any more. I weigh more right now than I did this time last year (only by a few pounds, but still...). My maintenance is slowly slipping and I really don't want to start an upward trend. I don't feel as good as I used to, not as motivated. I thought it was just getting used to maintaining, but it seems I've just gotten back into some old habits with food and ordering whatever I want.
So I need a plan. Fast. I'm not about to let a year and a half of hard work start to slip. Surprisingly, my November doesn't look as chaotic as I would have expected. Randy is out of town this weekend so I'm on my own (aka no restaurant food). The following weekend we're going to Williamsburg, and the weekend before Thanksgiving I don't have anything. That leaves me a fairly steady schedule to stick to of working out and not eating too much.
And I didn't realize it, but I kind of miss running. When I ran, my weight wasn't nearly as all over the place. I was sticking right around 150 (usually lower) but once I stopped running regularly, it's been creeping back up. Now that I have my Touchpad to watching movies on the treadmill, it's really helping to get me to the gym and run. I've been doing intervals, my endurance is shot and I need to build it up again, so speed intervals are my weapon of choice. And I think I need a new inhaler, mine isn't spraying very well since it's kept in my giant purse and probably is somewhat broken. Anyways, no more excuses. "The treadmills are always full at the gym." So... wait for one! "I don't have the energy." Well, muster some up! There are a million reasons not to... and a million reasons why I need to.
And as for food... I think I need to avoid Italian restaurants for a while. I ate entirely too much buttery pasta this weekend. And bread. I need to go back to actually thinking about the nutritional content of the food I'm choosing! Not what looks delicious. I haven't been drinking that much, so that helps.
I know a lot of people who read my blog look to me to be an example of how to successfully lose weight... and keep it off! And I'm still 60 pounds lighter than when I started. But... that number has shrunk a bit. I really need to be accountable, log on MFP what my weight is, and work to get that number down. And with all of you watching and keeping track of me, I can stick to it. Time to step up my game!
I've said this a few times in the last two months, but I really need to make the committment to stick to it. I've gotten used to being thinner. I like looking in the mirror and not hating what I see. But I also know that I can do better. I need to see those 140s again, I'm not about to give up and I still would love to reach my ultimate goal of 140. I just need to focus and go back to what was working for me. Healthy food, lots of INTENSE exercise, and some extra motivation.
Despite that, I had my birthday 2 weeks ago, and I felt more amazing than I have in my life. The photo below says it all... I've NEVER EVER thought I could wear a dress like this. It's just motivation to make it look even more amazing when I likely wear it again on New Years Eve.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
I'm Back in the Game!
I admit, I scared myself there. I've been so focused since February 2010 on getting healthy, losing weight, and just in general being happy. And slowly I got comfortable with my weight (148-150 with the intent to eventually get down to 140), with my eating (a treat isn't a bad thing), and my schedule (well, if I don't work out every day it won't kill me). And then comfort turned into complacent. And then just lazy. No more!
9 day ago, I came back from a business trip immediately followed by a weekend in Jersey, stepped on my scale and saw 160.0. I was angry and frustrated, but there was a new feeling I haven't had in a few months. Pure motivation! I've seen that number before, a year ago, and it was on a downward trend to 150. I hadn't seen my weight go up more than 2-3 pounds in many months. And it made me realize that I need to finish what I started!
And of course, I picked the worst possible time to get "back in gear", but is there ever a perfect time? Life happens. I have my birthday and 1st anniversary with my boyfriend this Saturday. I have a friend's wedding next Saturday. A weekend trip in November. But that isn't going to stop me from keeping my focus. I've been bad about fitting in working when I get busy. And letting myself completely go in restaurants. Really with no excuse other than I got lazy. And I know as well as anyone that losing weight and being healthy takes effort. So here's what I'm gonna do:
1. Work out at least 5 times a week. Even if it's for 30 minutes, it's still keeping my metabolism going. I've been able to work out all but one day since last Tuesday and it's helped so much. And a few extra hundred calories to absorb any birthday treats always helps!
2. Be smart when ordering food that I didn't make. Restaurants have been especially bad, and I know I'll be drinking beer on my birthday. No need to compound the beer calories with crap food calories. There are delicious, healthy things i can choose instead.
3. Don't go over my 1500 calories, preferably stay around 1300. That's the biggest change I've made in the past week, dropped my calories down from an entirely too generous number. I'm eating lots of protein, fruits and such, I just need to minimize the extra snacking. Therefore, no more Triscuits, hahaha.
Hopefully with keeping these things in mind, I'll have a great birthday weekend and I won't be playing catchup for 2 weeks after it. I have my friend's wedding next weekend too, so fitting in workouts will be a bit trickier. Hopefully working out Mon-Fri with Sat and Sun off will be OK. I feel so much better and my clothes look better that I'm not giving up now. Maybe this will give me the push I need to finally get further into the 140s! It started with just getting back down to 150, but if I'm losing and it continues, that would be AMAZING. We'll see how it goes, a week at a time.
9 day ago, I came back from a business trip immediately followed by a weekend in Jersey, stepped on my scale and saw 160.0. I was angry and frustrated, but there was a new feeling I haven't had in a few months. Pure motivation! I've seen that number before, a year ago, and it was on a downward trend to 150. I hadn't seen my weight go up more than 2-3 pounds in many months. And it made me realize that I need to finish what I started!
And of course, I picked the worst possible time to get "back in gear", but is there ever a perfect time? Life happens. I have my birthday and 1st anniversary with my boyfriend this Saturday. I have a friend's wedding next Saturday. A weekend trip in November. But that isn't going to stop me from keeping my focus. I've been bad about fitting in working when I get busy. And letting myself completely go in restaurants. Really with no excuse other than I got lazy. And I know as well as anyone that losing weight and being healthy takes effort. So here's what I'm gonna do:
1. Work out at least 5 times a week. Even if it's for 30 minutes, it's still keeping my metabolism going. I've been able to work out all but one day since last Tuesday and it's helped so much. And a few extra hundred calories to absorb any birthday treats always helps!
2. Be smart when ordering food that I didn't make. Restaurants have been especially bad, and I know I'll be drinking beer on my birthday. No need to compound the beer calories with crap food calories. There are delicious, healthy things i can choose instead.
3. Don't go over my 1500 calories, preferably stay around 1300. That's the biggest change I've made in the past week, dropped my calories down from an entirely too generous number. I'm eating lots of protein, fruits and such, I just need to minimize the extra snacking. Therefore, no more Triscuits, hahaha.
Hopefully with keeping these things in mind, I'll have a great birthday weekend and I won't be playing catchup for 2 weeks after it. I have my friend's wedding next weekend too, so fitting in workouts will be a bit trickier. Hopefully working out Mon-Fri with Sat and Sun off will be OK. I feel so much better and my clothes look better that I'm not giving up now. Maybe this will give me the push I need to finally get further into the 140s! It started with just getting back down to 150, but if I'm losing and it continues, that would be AMAZING. We'll see how it goes, a week at a time.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
A Neverending Battle
It had to happen at some point: I got comfortable. I got a bit complacent, and I got, I'll admit it, lazy.
After taking a step back from being completely neurotic about the numbers on the scale, I felt a bit better about not having to worry about every bite and every workout. I was OK with being around 150, knowing that if I let my body settle a bit and then kicked it into high gear again, I could start losing. Well, I took a few too many steps back...
All the way back to October 2010. The last time I saw 160 on the scale (probably more like Sept. actually). But anyways, I've been traveling non-stop it felt like since the last week of August. A few days in California for business, a trip to Phoenix to see a friend, spending the entire weekend at my boyfriend's place, another business trip (this one was 9 days) and two weekend trips to Jersey mixed in there too. The result, a month of eating out too much and only getting in 2 workouts a week if I was lucky. And then I realized what I really had done last night. I stepped on the scale after finally being back in my apartment after 4 days of being gone.
160.0
I thought I was losing my mind. So I reset the scale and tried again. Same exact number. SERIOUSLY? I went from flirting with below 150s to flirting with above 160? In A MONTH??? It's possible to backpeddle that much in a month???
It was a wake up call that I needed. I saw how easy it is to completely erase what was effectively a year of work. I've been great at keeping right around that 150 point, but I know now that I can't let myself have that much leeway with what I eat and when I workout. I think the food is the biggest issue. All the restaurant food I've had lately, between traveling and with friends/boyfriend/family, is adding way too many calories that I'm not burning off. I need to make smarter decisions when I choose what to eat, I don't need a pizza with 2 beers and some dessert. There are plenty of healthy options out there, and I don't need to drink that much beer (although it is delicious).
And as for the working out, I haven't been making time for it and I need to. Part of it was the crazy schedule, but the other part is just not feeling like it and letting that side of my brain win the battle. I finally packed some gym clothes for tonight, and I'm going for an hour after work. I need to get in the habit again and I'm in dire need of some cardio to burn off lots of calories.
So the moral of this cautionary tale... ANYONE can slip up. I know a lot of people like to read my blogs for advice and a point of view from someone who really successfully conquered a weight problem. But, here's proof that it's possible to take a few steps back while trying to move forward in life. I don't like that my work pants are a tiny bit snug. Or that I didn't want to wear a shirt I liked because it was a bit tighter around my stomach. Or that I couldn't run a full mile outside without stopping (when I've done 5K+ at a time before).
But, it's a place I can get back to with some hard work and focus. I've already gone food shopping to get things to make for my meals (especially packing my lunch), I packed the gym clothes, and most importantly, I'm aware that there's a problem. And I'm going to fix it. I have a week and a half until my 25th birthday (Oct 22nd) and my one year anniversary with Randy (on the same day, haha) and I want to get most of this extra weight gone. I know a lot of it is water weight from all the restaurant food, so I'm hoping it comes off fast. I need to look hot in a new dress for that day! I saw 157.7 on the scale the morning (I know, terrifying!) but I don't doubt that I can be back around 152-153 by next week. And hopefully a few weeks after that be back into the 140s. I need to get that fire back that I've had for the last year and a half.
And most importantly, learn to balance life and the scale. It's not easy, as I've learned, but it's something I'm going to have to do if I want to make this change permanent.
After taking a step back from being completely neurotic about the numbers on the scale, I felt a bit better about not having to worry about every bite and every workout. I was OK with being around 150, knowing that if I let my body settle a bit and then kicked it into high gear again, I could start losing. Well, I took a few too many steps back...
All the way back to October 2010. The last time I saw 160 on the scale (probably more like Sept. actually). But anyways, I've been traveling non-stop it felt like since the last week of August. A few days in California for business, a trip to Phoenix to see a friend, spending the entire weekend at my boyfriend's place, another business trip (this one was 9 days) and two weekend trips to Jersey mixed in there too. The result, a month of eating out too much and only getting in 2 workouts a week if I was lucky. And then I realized what I really had done last night. I stepped on the scale after finally being back in my apartment after 4 days of being gone.
160.0
I thought I was losing my mind. So I reset the scale and tried again. Same exact number. SERIOUSLY? I went from flirting with below 150s to flirting with above 160? In A MONTH??? It's possible to backpeddle that much in a month???
It was a wake up call that I needed. I saw how easy it is to completely erase what was effectively a year of work. I've been great at keeping right around that 150 point, but I know now that I can't let myself have that much leeway with what I eat and when I workout. I think the food is the biggest issue. All the restaurant food I've had lately, between traveling and with friends/boyfriend/family, is adding way too many calories that I'm not burning off. I need to make smarter decisions when I choose what to eat, I don't need a pizza with 2 beers and some dessert. There are plenty of healthy options out there, and I don't need to drink that much beer (although it is delicious).
And as for the working out, I haven't been making time for it and I need to. Part of it was the crazy schedule, but the other part is just not feeling like it and letting that side of my brain win the battle. I finally packed some gym clothes for tonight, and I'm going for an hour after work. I need to get in the habit again and I'm in dire need of some cardio to burn off lots of calories.
So the moral of this cautionary tale... ANYONE can slip up. I know a lot of people like to read my blogs for advice and a point of view from someone who really successfully conquered a weight problem. But, here's proof that it's possible to take a few steps back while trying to move forward in life. I don't like that my work pants are a tiny bit snug. Or that I didn't want to wear a shirt I liked because it was a bit tighter around my stomach. Or that I couldn't run a full mile outside without stopping (when I've done 5K+ at a time before).
But, it's a place I can get back to with some hard work and focus. I've already gone food shopping to get things to make for my meals (especially packing my lunch), I packed the gym clothes, and most importantly, I'm aware that there's a problem. And I'm going to fix it. I have a week and a half until my 25th birthday (Oct 22nd) and my one year anniversary with Randy (on the same day, haha) and I want to get most of this extra weight gone. I know a lot of it is water weight from all the restaurant food, so I'm hoping it comes off fast. I need to look hot in a new dress for that day! I saw 157.7 on the scale the morning (I know, terrifying!) but I don't doubt that I can be back around 152-153 by next week. And hopefully a few weeks after that be back into the 140s. I need to get that fire back that I've had for the last year and a half.
And most importantly, learn to balance life and the scale. It's not easy, as I've learned, but it's something I'm going to have to do if I want to make this change permanent.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
It's Not Gonna Get Any Easier...
I keep waiting for a break in my schedule, a few weeks where I can really focus on eating right and working out every day, and hopefully that would get the scale down enough that I didn't have to deal with it bouncing up to 150 every Monday morning.
But I don't see that happening any time soon, and it's almost to the point of being frustrating. I really do enjoy my weekends, I get to spend them with Randy, we do fun things around DC, friends come visit me. It's a great time! Until I see the aftermath of it, the scale has been above 150 for 3 days in a row as of today. Something that hasn't happened in a while. And it upsets me, even though I wouldn't really do anything differently this weekend. It really was the beer that put me over, that's what happens at a Beer festival!
I don't want to have to choose between having a good time and enjoy my weekends, and being healthy. I REFUSE, absolutely REFUSE!!!! to gain any of this weight back. But it's crept back a tiny bit since June, only 2 or so pounds, and I can usually get the scale back around 148 if I'm good Mon-Thurs. But it bounces right back up again come Monday. So, I do I have to choose?
Either I say, screw it, I'm sticking around 150 and as long as I'm not higher than that by more than a pound, it's good. It's maintaining over 65 lbs of weight loss. I guess I can be happy about that. But I'm still left unsatisfied because I'm not where I want to be. I'm still sucking in a bit when I wear some of my more fitted tops. And there's definitely a muffin top in my fitted size 6 NY&Co jeans that I HATE! And I still don't feel completely confident in a bikini. AND I WANT TO! I want to be happy about all those things. And the only way to get there is to lose the last couple pounds I've been holding on to. I was all excited in June that I might actually do it. I was down to 147, it stays there for a good 2 weeks, and then I get sent on my business trip and everything collapsed from there.
I'd love a few weeks where I didn't have to worry about any of it, but that's not realistic at all. I'm already looking at a chaotic Fall because of several trips up to Jersey for a friend's wedding stuff, my sister's birthday, my birthday (probably going away for the weekend with Randy), and people wanting to visit me and me going to visit people. There's not way I can hide for 3 weeks and get my weight back down. So I'm just going to have to do it amid all the chaos. I'm not 100% sure how yet tho...
My first intention is to reel in eating crap for an entire weekend just because I'm not home with my usual supply of healthy food. I've been staying over Randy's a lot more. I'm gonna have to start stashing snacks or something there. And when we eat out, I need to stop automatically picking something unhealthy just because we're out. There're are plenty of healthier choices out there that I can go with, and he's never said no when I ask not to go somewhere because of not being able to find something healthy.
The second thing I'm gonna have to do is really focus on the workouts. I haven't been getting to the gym as much as I should, usually only that once a week with my trainer. I need to start going at least one or two more times during the week and get some good cardio in. Turbo Fire is good and all, but it's not the same as an interval run or something. At least it'll be fall and I can run outside again as much as possible.
So, there you have it. My confession. I've slacked off and I'll admit it. I just didn't have the same motivation the last few weeks and it seems it's caught up to me. I also need to stop buying gouda cheese from Trader Joes and eating a few ounces of it with crackers at night. That CAN'T be helping right now. Ugh, kinda makes me want to throw things and tell everyone to leave me alone for a month so I can lose 5 pounds and be happier. But I know it's dangerous to tie my happiness to my weight. I just need to focus, find the positive in things, and keep chugging along. God, how I want to see 140 on the scale, but I don't know if it's gonna happen, and that sucks. I'm not admitting defeat, I'm just admitting that it's a tough road ahead if I ever want to see that number. I've just got to be willing to do it... not sure if I am right now, but I'm gonna try.
But I don't see that happening any time soon, and it's almost to the point of being frustrating. I really do enjoy my weekends, I get to spend them with Randy, we do fun things around DC, friends come visit me. It's a great time! Until I see the aftermath of it, the scale has been above 150 for 3 days in a row as of today. Something that hasn't happened in a while. And it upsets me, even though I wouldn't really do anything differently this weekend. It really was the beer that put me over, that's what happens at a Beer festival!
I don't want to have to choose between having a good time and enjoy my weekends, and being healthy. I REFUSE, absolutely REFUSE!!!! to gain any of this weight back. But it's crept back a tiny bit since June, only 2 or so pounds, and I can usually get the scale back around 148 if I'm good Mon-Thurs. But it bounces right back up again come Monday. So, I do I have to choose?
Either I say, screw it, I'm sticking around 150 and as long as I'm not higher than that by more than a pound, it's good. It's maintaining over 65 lbs of weight loss. I guess I can be happy about that. But I'm still left unsatisfied because I'm not where I want to be. I'm still sucking in a bit when I wear some of my more fitted tops. And there's definitely a muffin top in my fitted size 6 NY&Co jeans that I HATE! And I still don't feel completely confident in a bikini. AND I WANT TO! I want to be happy about all those things. And the only way to get there is to lose the last couple pounds I've been holding on to. I was all excited in June that I might actually do it. I was down to 147, it stays there for a good 2 weeks, and then I get sent on my business trip and everything collapsed from there.
I'd love a few weeks where I didn't have to worry about any of it, but that's not realistic at all. I'm already looking at a chaotic Fall because of several trips up to Jersey for a friend's wedding stuff, my sister's birthday, my birthday (probably going away for the weekend with Randy), and people wanting to visit me and me going to visit people. There's not way I can hide for 3 weeks and get my weight back down. So I'm just going to have to do it amid all the chaos. I'm not 100% sure how yet tho...
My first intention is to reel in eating crap for an entire weekend just because I'm not home with my usual supply of healthy food. I've been staying over Randy's a lot more. I'm gonna have to start stashing snacks or something there. And when we eat out, I need to stop automatically picking something unhealthy just because we're out. There're are plenty of healthier choices out there that I can go with, and he's never said no when I ask not to go somewhere because of not being able to find something healthy.
The second thing I'm gonna have to do is really focus on the workouts. I haven't been getting to the gym as much as I should, usually only that once a week with my trainer. I need to start going at least one or two more times during the week and get some good cardio in. Turbo Fire is good and all, but it's not the same as an interval run or something. At least it'll be fall and I can run outside again as much as possible.
So, there you have it. My confession. I've slacked off and I'll admit it. I just didn't have the same motivation the last few weeks and it seems it's caught up to me. I also need to stop buying gouda cheese from Trader Joes and eating a few ounces of it with crackers at night. That CAN'T be helping right now. Ugh, kinda makes me want to throw things and tell everyone to leave me alone for a month so I can lose 5 pounds and be happier. But I know it's dangerous to tie my happiness to my weight. I just need to focus, find the positive in things, and keep chugging along. God, how I want to see 140 on the scale, but I don't know if it's gonna happen, and that sucks. I'm not admitting defeat, I'm just admitting that it's a tough road ahead if I ever want to see that number. I've just got to be willing to do it... not sure if I am right now, but I'm gonna try.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Losing My... Motivation? Or Just Getting Back to Normal?
Lately, I've started to question my level of motivation. I haven't wanted to work out every single night that I'm free during the week. I haven't been packing in extra workouts on the weekends to make up for going out for drinks or something. And I haven't been always picking a salad with dressing on the side when I go out to restaurants.
But is this a bad thing?
The way I look at it, if I'm ever gonna make this whole thing stick for the rest of my life, I've gotta do it in a way that means I can keep it up! I never thought 6 days a week of working out and eating like a saint were sustainable in the long term, who can keep that up indefinitely! But in the process of this transition, I've realized a few things.
First off, I'm not gonna gain back weight just from "living a little", something I was seriously afraid of. I thought the second I slowed up my usual routine of angelic eating and exercise, the weight would start to come back on. But it's been since January since I really lost weight... but at the same time, NONE of the weight I lost has come back on. And I've definitely been a bit devilish with my eating, drinking, and workout habits at times. Not a complete reversion to my old ways, but definitely not as diligent as I was when I initially got myself down to 150.
Secondly, I can keep up the healthy lifestyle without too much pain and suffering. I don't mind working out a few times a week, I'll workout on the weekend if I'm home, and I'll happily pick a delicious healthy option from a menu most of the time. And these are things I can keep up in the long term. I'll always have my workout DVDs and a gym membership, but that doesn't mean I have to commit to them 6 days a week!
So, what does this mean for me in the long run? I'm still anywhere from 7-10 lbs away from my goal weight of 140, depending on how well I've behaved in the last few days. So is this an admission of defeat? NO WAY! I'm just realistic. With some renewed dedication and a less busy schedule, I can get that weight off. And I intend to. It'll be a slow process (as if it isn't already as slow as possible!), but I know I can do it once I stick to my guns. It might happen a pound at a time, gradually knocking off a little bit of weight that doesn't come back. When I had 3 really good weeks in June, I was able to get down to 147 for over a week and now that's the point I get back to when I'm good. Before it was 149 or so. So my lows are getting lower. And my highs are getting lower too! I RARELY see 150 anymore, and that makes me happy.
The whole point of this is that it's OK to slow down, take a breather, and reassess. I don't want life to pass me by while I'm busy looking down at the scale. I'm still gonna weigh in, keep myself in check, and hopefully with time I'll get to my goal. But it's the last 2 weeks of summer! Who wants to waste those? The important thing is to make as many days a possible "good days" so that I can enjoy myself on the "fun days!"
But is this a bad thing?
The way I look at it, if I'm ever gonna make this whole thing stick for the rest of my life, I've gotta do it in a way that means I can keep it up! I never thought 6 days a week of working out and eating like a saint were sustainable in the long term, who can keep that up indefinitely! But in the process of this transition, I've realized a few things.
First off, I'm not gonna gain back weight just from "living a little", something I was seriously afraid of. I thought the second I slowed up my usual routine of angelic eating and exercise, the weight would start to come back on. But it's been since January since I really lost weight... but at the same time, NONE of the weight I lost has come back on. And I've definitely been a bit devilish with my eating, drinking, and workout habits at times. Not a complete reversion to my old ways, but definitely not as diligent as I was when I initially got myself down to 150.
Secondly, I can keep up the healthy lifestyle without too much pain and suffering. I don't mind working out a few times a week, I'll workout on the weekend if I'm home, and I'll happily pick a delicious healthy option from a menu most of the time. And these are things I can keep up in the long term. I'll always have my workout DVDs and a gym membership, but that doesn't mean I have to commit to them 6 days a week!
So, what does this mean for me in the long run? I'm still anywhere from 7-10 lbs away from my goal weight of 140, depending on how well I've behaved in the last few days. So is this an admission of defeat? NO WAY! I'm just realistic. With some renewed dedication and a less busy schedule, I can get that weight off. And I intend to. It'll be a slow process (as if it isn't already as slow as possible!), but I know I can do it once I stick to my guns. It might happen a pound at a time, gradually knocking off a little bit of weight that doesn't come back. When I had 3 really good weeks in June, I was able to get down to 147 for over a week and now that's the point I get back to when I'm good. Before it was 149 or so. So my lows are getting lower. And my highs are getting lower too! I RARELY see 150 anymore, and that makes me happy.
The whole point of this is that it's OK to slow down, take a breather, and reassess. I don't want life to pass me by while I'm busy looking down at the scale. I'm still gonna weigh in, keep myself in check, and hopefully with time I'll get to my goal. But it's the last 2 weeks of summer! Who wants to waste those? The important thing is to make as many days a possible "good days" so that I can enjoy myself on the "fun days!"
Friday, August 12, 2011
Slow and Steady Is Getting Annoying
I miss the days where I could log a 2 lb loss for the week and it wasn't a rare event. Much more gratifying. But now that I've basically been maintaining for the last 7 months or so, I've started to get used to the daily ups and downs of the scale. And when I do have a loss, it's a small one. And usually it doesn't last. Bummer...
This morning I was hoping to be able to record ANYTHING, even 0.1 lb. But I opted to live a little and had one beer before kickball and I ate dinner at 9:30, so no loss this week for me. I've started to realize this whole thing is about tradeoffs. I could skip out on things to avoid a bad situation, or I can adapt and deal with it. I went to a coworker's going away lunch yesterday, but ate a sandwich first and nibbled on a caesar salad (hardly any dressing) while I was there. And I let myself have the tinest slice of pizza, which I don't really feel guilty about. Same goes for kickball last night. I had one beer, low calorie, and I stopped. But I still got to spend some time at the bar before the game with my friends.
Going forward I know I still want to get down to 140, but it's going to be a slow process if I want to have any freedom to eat and do what I want on occasion. But it's having the number in mind that keeps me in check when I do. Yesterday I could have easily eaten a few slices of pizza, or had more than one beer, but knowing that I didn't want the scale to swing back up to 150 kept me from going overboard. I'll take a jump of half a pound for my efforts.
So, I've realized that setting boundaries and goals is a good thing. I'd LOVE to be down into the 145 range by the end of the month, and I'm slowly working my way there, halfway there so far. But I also know I have my sister visiting this weekend and a baseball game and crab and beer festival with Randy next weekend. So it's gonna be about balance. Be as good as I can on the days where I'm not doing something out of the ordinary, and enjoy myself a bit when I'm doing something special... but not too much!
So my goal for this weekend is to eat as well as I can, but I'm getting Thai food with Krissi tonight! Our favorite! And hopefully come Monday morning, I haven't completely reset myself. I'll be working hard next week so that I can see a loss on Thurs/Fri. It wasn't in the cards this week, but that doesn't stop me from trying next week.
This morning I was hoping to be able to record ANYTHING, even 0.1 lb. But I opted to live a little and had one beer before kickball and I ate dinner at 9:30, so no loss this week for me. I've started to realize this whole thing is about tradeoffs. I could skip out on things to avoid a bad situation, or I can adapt and deal with it. I went to a coworker's going away lunch yesterday, but ate a sandwich first and nibbled on a caesar salad (hardly any dressing) while I was there. And I let myself have the tinest slice of pizza, which I don't really feel guilty about. Same goes for kickball last night. I had one beer, low calorie, and I stopped. But I still got to spend some time at the bar before the game with my friends.
Going forward I know I still want to get down to 140, but it's going to be a slow process if I want to have any freedom to eat and do what I want on occasion. But it's having the number in mind that keeps me in check when I do. Yesterday I could have easily eaten a few slices of pizza, or had more than one beer, but knowing that I didn't want the scale to swing back up to 150 kept me from going overboard. I'll take a jump of half a pound for my efforts.
So, I've realized that setting boundaries and goals is a good thing. I'd LOVE to be down into the 145 range by the end of the month, and I'm slowly working my way there, halfway there so far. But I also know I have my sister visiting this weekend and a baseball game and crab and beer festival with Randy next weekend. So it's gonna be about balance. Be as good as I can on the days where I'm not doing something out of the ordinary, and enjoy myself a bit when I'm doing something special... but not too much!
So my goal for this weekend is to eat as well as I can, but I'm getting Thai food with Krissi tonight! Our favorite! And hopefully come Monday morning, I haven't completely reset myself. I'll be working hard next week so that I can see a loss on Thurs/Fri. It wasn't in the cards this week, but that doesn't stop me from trying next week.
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