A Sprint Or A Marathon?

Lately I've been thinking a lot about the future. I've always wanted to have my entire life planned out. I mean, I basically have the job I wanted when I was 7! Who actually does that? I wanted to work on things that go into space, now I'm a satellite engineer. And I've been neurotically planning for all of that since I was 7! It was all part of the master plan for a perfect life.There were a few minor details missing though. One of them is the reason I'm here, how I felt about my job and school and brains didn't match with how I felt about my body.

I've never been skinny. Or normal for that matter. Or comfortable in my own skin. EVER. I can remember back to ballet class when I was 9 or 10 and hating having to wear a leotard and tights. I also got kicked out of ballet class for bad behavior, but that's another story unrelated to all this... haha. College didn't do much to help with how I thought about how I looked because I was so busy, never had time to workout, the dining hall food was delicious and calorific and plentiful. I easily gain 40 pounds while I was in school! 2 degrees in engineering, lots of independence, and 40 pounds. Rough tradeoff. 

Now that I've had time to get my life in order, I can tackle my last remaining issues. 1 year later and I've lost 61 pounds and counting. Yet another life goal is within reach... a healthy weight! I didn't realize how much my weight was tied to everything else in my life.I have a more positive attitude (which was actually written up in my employee performance review, "upbeat personaility and positive attitude". I mean, I wasn't Oscar the Grouch before, but I wasn't Little Miss Sunshine either.) I'm not really afraid to approach or talk to people, and I love to talk. I'm treated better in general, especially by guys. Society kind of sucks like that, where you have to be thin and pretty to get noticed. I feel PRETTY! Honestly, that's the biggest change. I've never really felt attractive, or thought I had a pretty face. Now I'm looking in the mirror and I finally see it!  And I think because I finally realized it, other guys have picked up on my confidence and now I'm seeing someone! I've never really done a long term relationship before, so this month of casually dating is a world record. And I'm just going to enjoy it. I was stressing out about figuring out exactly what's going on and defining it and all that crap, and I just need to enjoy it. It'll work itself out.

And I realized, the same goes for losing weight. I could be obsessive complusive (like I am about most things), stick to the plan 24/7 and get to my goal weight as fast as possible. Or I can take a step back, enjoy a few weekends visiting friends and family, have a damn cupcake every now and then (red velvet... mmmmmm), take a night off for a date in which I don't pick the lowest calorie option and skip the beer (because that's no fun on a date!). In short, I'd rather LIVE than live to lose weight.  At this point, I'm already pretty small, even for 154 pounds. I'm a size 8 and a small/medium on top. I'm close to where I want to be and getting there a month sooner won't do much. I'm just working on flattening out my stomach before I have to put on a bikini again and shrinking my legs and arms (so far so good!, skin appears to be snapping back gradually). So at this point, I'm not at an all out sprint for the finish line. What's really waiting for me there? I'm already so much happier than when I started! Yes, a size 4 would rock, so would a healthy BMI. But I WILL get there, I'm just stopping to smell the roses or whatever... haha. As long as my weight is on a downward trend while I'm enjoying life, I'm happy with it. My goal was 140 by February. That's 3 months to lose 14 pounds. I don't have to break my neck to be on that pace. After that, it's bonus pounds til the summer time when I'm finally smokin' hot in a bikini while sailing on the Potomac River (assuming I'm still dating this guy...)

All while I'm thinking this, a lot of "what ifs" enter my brain. What if my body hates me and gets stuck at a higher weight? What if things don't work out with this guy? What if my legs don't shrink enough for size 4 jeans? What if my stomach is still kinda flabby from loose skin when I'm done? Or my arms?  What if lose my motivation? My answer to that is to STOP THINKING ABOUT IT! Maybe it'll all work out perfectly like my life plan usually does. Or I'll have to take a detour. Or I'll just have to deal with what I get. I'll figure it out. I think that's one of the things I've learned from all of this, it doesn't have to be perfect or a sprint to the finish. I just have to be happy. And I am. FINALLY!

Weekend Warrior? Not So Much...

As if losing weight isn't hard enough on it's own during the week, when I have my healthy snacks at my desk, a workout planned every day after work, and a salad bar in the office cafeteria for a nutritious lunch, the weekend is BRUTAL!

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my weekends. I need to relax, I get to socialize, go on a date or something with my new guy (it's been a month now :D), and of course, SHOP! But lately I've been traveling just about every other weekend, either home to Jersey for some family event (everyone really needs to stop getting married all at once, too many events to go to), or just visiting friends somewhere (California was last weekend). It throws me out of my routine, I don't get a workout in first thing in the morning, I don't eat as well, and counting calories is much harder in general. 

Basically this has amounted to some measly weight loss over the last 2 weeks. I'm officially 0.1 lbs below where I was on my birthday 2 Friday's ago, after being down 0.8 lbs last Friday and gaining a bit back from California. And I know it won't get any easier. Next weekend I'm going to Jersey AGAIN for a wedding shower, and then 2 weekends after that is the dreaded Thanksgiving weekend! Food, dessert, lethargy, and a family trying to feed me. UGH! Well, not entirely UGH because its fun, but it makes things harder.

So, I need to get my act together, I can't afford to bust my bum all week to have it erased every weekend. That's all fine and dandy when I want to maintain my weight, but I'm still a a solid 15 lbs away from my initial goal and it's looking like I want to push that somewhere into the 130s so I have a nice cushion of a few pounds when I do go into maintenance. I'm not looking to sprint to the finish, but I feel like after 60+ pounds lost, I should have this down to a science! It was almost easier to resist temptations closer to the beginning than it is now. Lately I've had a few red velvet cupcakes, some ice cream, basically desserts are my indulgences... and thai food. Plus drinking. And I wonder why I'm losing slowly?

OK, new game plan. I WILL BEHAVE ON THE WEEKENDS! I don't care if I'm home, workouts in the morning. I will wake up at 9am on Thanksgiving to do Turbo Fire for an hour if I have to. I'm curbing my tendency to eat less than desirable food when out and about. I just need to start throwing Kashi bars in my purse for when I'm out and hungry so I don't snack on junk.  Drinking will be kept to a minimum! I'm saving it for special occasions for a while. As I say all this, I have my date tonight which will likely involve eating out, drinking, and not getting a morning workout in (well.... maybe there will be some sort of morning workout... teehee!). I'll just have to be as good as the situation allows. 

I think if I focus, I can get around 150 for Thanksgiving, which I actually have set as a Christmas goal. My unofficial Christmas goal is 145. That number still blows my mind, when at Christmas one year ago I weighed 200 pounds. I can almost steal my little sister's clothes! (She's  an athletic 130 pounds, same height as me, size 4/6 and small/medium).  So, skinny me will just be my Christmas gift to myself. 9.9 lbs to go! 3 solid weeks to try to get rid of 4.9 lbs. If I follow my rules every day of the week, I think I can do it! Will power don't fail me now!

So I Got Into A Fight Last Night

It was an epic battle, really. There was bloodshed, there was drama... there was me and

MY RESISTANCE BAND!

Yep, my first exercise equipment FAIL/INJURY! To preface this story, i was not using proper form as shown in my Turbo Fire DVD. My lower body band has gone missing, so I substituted my resistance band, hooked the hard plastic handle onto my shoe, and pulled on the other end of the cord about halfway up to do a row with a leg stretch. After one rep, the plastic handle flew off the shoe... into my face.

Yep, I was ambushed!

The damage could have been worse I suppose, it hit me square in the cheekbone. Thank goodness it wasn't my eye or my mouth, I guess if it had to hit somewhere that was it. But my first instinct was to grab a frozen Vitatop muffin and put it on my face. Then I realized once I got to the bathroom, I'm bleeding. Awesome. Me and blood don't get along. Only a tiny cut, looked worse than it really was. Took care of that with some gauze and antiseptic gel and put a band aid on it.

I LOOK LIKE THE RAPPER NELLY!!!!!!!

Then I go back to icing my war wound. It didn't hurt a ton, but I was trying to make sure I didn't end up with a black eye. After a phone call later in the evening to the guy I'm seeing (i love saying that...) who told me exactly what to do (involving ibuprofen, a ice pack or bag of peas, more antiseptic and sleep), I felt better. So I went to bed, waking up quite a bit from the anxiety of the whole thing. And then I stumbled into the bathroom at 7am. And my fears were confirmed.

I HAVE A BLACK EYE!

Or at least half of one, it's purple under my eye but only on the side near my nose. Lovely... makeup, concealer, more antiseptic (ditched the Nelly bandaid), and some eyeliner and I look decent but still... I HAVE A SHINER!  The guys at work are greatly amused, and by default said I should lie and say I was in the bar fight. As you all saw, my Halloween costume is a sexy sailor girl. I'm now gonna have to be a sexy sailor girl... who got in a bar fight at the bar on base or something... hahaha.

So in short, please follow the proper form and equipment recommendations when doing workout videos. Otherwise you will end up with a shiner. I detail my ordeal as a lesson to you all to respect the exercise band, and it won't punch you in the face :)

Some Birthday Reflections

Thinking back to my  birthday a year ago, I was still in school, still 215 lbs (although I probably had lost a couple pounds by then from stress and walking up The Slope every day), and I was still trying to find myself. I actually spent my birthday with my professor in Office Hours trying to finish a homework assignment... hahahaha. Such a typical engineer....I was fortunate to have a job offer locked in for the job I'm in now, but I had a long way to go still before graduation in December and starting life as a big kid... haha. And losing weight really wasn't on my mind, at all.

 My birthday today couldn't be any different. First off,  I hit my 155 minigoal, right on the nose at 155.0 lbs. ON TIME! WHOOT! Never done that with a minigoal before, they've all been a month late... haha. I'm really actually truly happy with myself, my lifestyle, my job, my social life, everything! Well, maybe not the state of my closet where half my clothes don't fi.... but that's a good problem to have :) 

I think the biggest change is my confidence. In general, I really am a confident person, in things that I believe in. I always was confident in my intelligence, so school was one of my strong points. And I was confident in my ability to sell myself in interviews, getting a job really wasn't too much of an issue. But then there was how I presented myself with people socially. I would get kinda shy, especially around guys. I just didn't believe in myself that someone else would find me attractive.  I never really committed to a relationship, mainly because I didn't think anyone would be interested. 

But now I think I'm finally confident.  FINALLY! It only took 24 years... haha. And I've realized that guys are more drawn to that than how I look. I mea, it doesn't hurt that I look better now.... hehe... but still. I'm convinced of it, and that's what's important! I'm not even where I want to be yet. I could stop now and be happy. But I want to be a healthy weight, and I've NEVER been a healthy weight in my life. And I'd love to be able to stand next to my size 4 sister and look the same size. And I'll get there.

I also made a committment yesterday to become a Beachbody Coach! I'm very excited, and I've already been sharing my love of Turbo Fire with everyone on here. Might as well make it a formal arrangement :) If anyone has questions or is interested in my becoming your Coach (you can sign up for a free membership under me), let me know! I'm awaiting my first Shakeology delivery next week.

And finally, thanks to all the people on MFP who have helped me. This is not a one woman job, I would never give up because I want to be an example to everyone on here that it can be done by ANYONE. It just takes some dedication, a good workout plan, and a healthy obsession... literally!

(241) Days of Sara

Things Happen When You Least Expect It!

That seems to be the theme of the week for me. I admit, I'm a compulsive planner. I need to have everything mapped out in life. My food, my exercise, my errands, my closet, my apartment, my career, EVERYTHING. I need a game plan. I feel out of control without one. I live off of To-Do Lists and post it notes (seriously, I've been single-handedly supporting in the Post-It Note industry since high school). And this week, no amount of planning could have had the results that I've had.

First off, the reason we're all here... weight loss/getting healthy. The past week has been great in terms of eating right and staying way below my sodium every day. I've been around 1200 calories and it's really working for me (I'm hitting my 25% protein and fiber goals just about every day so it's a satisfying 1200 calories).  The result? I've gone from 160.2 lbs on Friday the 1st (just about 2 weeks ago) to 155.8 lbs this morning! 4.2 lbs in 2 weeks? WHATT??? I've been keeping up with exercise, but I'm making sure not to go too intense since I'm eating less. I don't want to fatigue myself. But that's probably the best 2 weeks I've had since I started and had quite a bit more weight to lose. My happy scale told me my BMI was 27.5 this morning, which is halfway between healthy and overweight! 15.8 lbs from my initial goal! FIFTEEN!! I never thought I'd see the day. I started really going for this in February at 200 lbs, unhappy, and in a COMPLETELY new environment with work starting and moving to Virginia. I took the drastic change as a chance to reinvent myself. Everything else was changing, why not my unhealthy habits?

The second unexpect thing that happened was that I finally met someone :) I went on the booze cruise last Saturday with the intention of making some new friends that I could go to happy hour or bars or something with, since I don't have a lot of friends in the area. And I did! I met 2 girls that live in my town and we're planning happy hour at some point. But, within the first 30 seconds , I met a guy (I kid you not, I walked up to the dock and found the two girls and him). And things really clicked. THAT I wasn't expecting! It was only my first event! I'm really excited with where things are going, but I don't want to get to ahead of myself yet :) I'm taking it a week at a time, we have plans for my birthday on Friday of next week. 

So basically this week has taught me to let the universe take over sometimes. I'm not a religious person, and I generally don't believe in fate, destiny, etc. I've always believed that you make your own path. But this week just reminded me that things really do happen for a reason. One of my favorite movies is 500 Days of Summer, and this whole week just reminds me of the message of that movie (I won't spoil it for anyone, but DEFINITELY go rent it or something!). So, for now I'm just gonna keep doing what I'm doing and see where it takes me. It's been working so far in everything that I do for the past 241 days (yep, I counted how many days since I made this change). A few course corrections along the way. My birthday should be an amazing one, between the date and being on track to hit my minigoal of 155. As long as the family wedding I'm going to this weekend doesn't derail any progress (I'm gonna be very careful).

And an update from the last blog, here's ME in my Halloween costume instead of some tiny model with implants. Personally, i think I look better ;)

Just When I Thought I Had It All Figured Out

After 8 months, I had weight loss down to a science. I knew what helped with keeping the weight loss going, I knew what made me plateau and stall (ALCOHOL in excess... haha). I had my menu down perfectly, not a bit of junk food in my house (except that one bag of Dove caramel chocolates... a rare treat). I busted my plateau that lasted all of August just by doing what I've been doing, with adding some extra cardio in and cutting back on the drinking. I've been doing Chalean Extreme and Turbo Fire and LOVING it, and the muscles that I've found in my arms and legs (abs, you're next!).

And then the last few days have shaken things up. I haven't been losing weight very fast in the past couple months, I average a pound a week. I was very content with that, as I'm only 20 pounds from my goal of a healthy weight. But this week... not even this week, the last 4 days, I've gone from 160.1 lbs to 158.7 lbs! That's 1.4 lbs in 4 days... what?????

So I looked at my food diary... what's different than my usual? I'm exercising the same, aside from switching my running/walking to outside instead of a treadmill. However, my sodium has been low... much lower. That was the one thing I had trouble keeping under every day. But the past week I've been doing much better. And my calories were lower, closer to 1200-1350 than 1300-1500 that I had been eating. And I wasn't starving or anything, in fact I've been much better with my protein. And the weight has been falling off... whoa!

So, maybe I just needed to shake things up a bit, kick start things again. My body fat percentage is down to 32.3%, which is over a percent in a month and within the 21-33% that is healthy (I'm shooting for 28%). I'm going to focus on keeping that sodium number down. It'll mean eating out less and relying less on what's in my freezer (or at least shopping smarter to fill the freezer), but seeing the results makes the effort worth it. I'm gonna keep up with running outside as well, at least til I'm too freezing and it's dark at night (the path I run on is not lit). But I'm really excited that things are picking up! I was kinda bummed about hitting my 160 lb mini goal a month late, but now I might make up for it by hitting 155 by my birthday on Oct 22nd. And I've ordered my Halloween costume, a pin-up girl!!! I'm really excited about it. Here's a picture below, I think it's the perfect look for me and I don't need a wig since my hair really is long, curly and red! I'll be spending Halloween weekend in California (Palo Alto at Stanford with two of my best guy friends) so I wanted a fabulous costume. 3.3 more lbs to go until my mini goal! And 2 weeks to go... let's do it! I want to be completely fit and fabulous for my 24th birthday!

Success Isn't Measured In Pounds

Nope, sorry to burst the bubble, but I've really come to realize in the past 8 months that success can't be measured purely every time you step on the scale. If I went just by the scale, I'd miss out on so many of the equally important sucesses that come with a healthy lifestyle. I've been reminded of this lately, but especially this weekend we I got to see what a difference I can see in myself compared to a year ago.

Success is measured in inches. It cracks me up to try on old jeans and be able to pull them off without unzipping them. Or trying on a shirt that fit fine (or worse, was tight), only to find out that I'm swimming in it and the poofy stomach area of the shirt makes me look preggers (I refuse to buy shirts that are poofy in the stomach now, nothing to hide!). Even when the scale was stuck all of August, I still managed to go from fitting into 12 jeans to fitting into size 10s.

Success is measured in how many minutes I can run without stopping. I started kinda doing C25K in June, by July I had run a mile on the treadmill in about 12.75 minutes. I was up to 20 minutes without stopping a few weeks ago. Then I realized, Fall is here and I live next to a really pretty small lake with a path around it. So, I started to run outside. The first two attempts didn't go as well (max running time was a painful 7 minutes) but I realized my pace was WAYYYY too fast. So yesterday, I slowed it down. A lot. And I managed to do an entire mile in just under 12 minutes... OUTSIDE. And I ran/walked a total of 5K in 42 min 45 sec with running over half the distance. My goal is to one day be able to run all 5 laps around that lake, no walking. 

Success is measured in phone numbers. Haha... yep, phone numbers. Honestly, before I started all this, I never really got a phone number from a guy or really gave mine out, not at least to people I met casually while out. And getting hit on was a totally foreign thing that I'd just about given up on. But I've gotten a lot more confident lately and the past few weeks have actually be successful. Being offered drinks, guys striking up conversation, getting a phone number, it's all success in my book! It's getting myself out there and feeling happy and confident about it. So when a guy on Friday night told me I was pretty, I didn't say "no way, you're lying", I just thanks. Because I believed it.

Success is measured in new friends. Not only did I start being healthy back in February, but I graduated college and moved to a new state for my job. Lots of change all at once, and it meant finding new people. At first I was content staying in, not going out on the weekends, and finding the people I already knew to hang out with on occasion. Now I really think I need to put myself out there and meet NEW people. Expand my social circle. I think I finally have the confidence to do it, not just hide behind the friends I already know in new situations. So, I booked a spot on a booze cruise for 20s in the area. Alone. Just by RSVPing, I've already been in contact with a new friend that used to work for my company and we're planning to find each other at the cruise to chat. Success!

Finally, success is measured in how many people you reach.This website is such a fantastic way to reach out to people, both ones that have been down this road before with success, and those who need some encouragement to reach their goals as well. My friends and family have been encouraging, but nothing like the people on here. And I've even managed to convince some of them to become healthier themselves. It's infectious! So, spread the health! Sometimes people just need to know they're not the only one who wants to make a change. And to see that success is possible on so many different levels. 

So if you're ever feeling discouraged because the scale isn't telling you what you want it to say (mine even this morning showed me up 0.4 lbs from Friday), make a list of all the other successes that you've had. I'm certain I didn't list all of mine on here. But collectively, it makes me happy to see my own successes and when everyone on here shares their own. Keep it up!