"You Did It Once, You Can Do It Again!".... Right?

Sometimes I'm really amazed at how I lost 50 pounds in the span of around 8 months in 2010. I'm still the same person I was a few years ago, but at the same time so many things are different. I keep telling myself this time around that "Hey! You did this once before and you were awesome! You can do it all again!"

 Well, if only it was that simple.

The truth that I've realized is that past success doesn't guarentee I'll be successful this time. And that just replicating what I did last time will work this time. 5 years is a long time, especially when you're a 20-something and things change quickly. I was just starting a new job, I had never really made any attempts to lose weight before that, and I was starting an entirely new lifestyle as a full time employee living on my own and in a new area. It was really that so many things were changing, why not add in being healthy to all of that. And it worked amazingly well! But a key component of that was being able to give my weight loss effort almost all of my attention and time. I didn't have a boyfriend, I wasn't taking grad classes once or twice a week at night, I didn't socialize as much since I was new to the area and didn't know many people. It was a completely different set of challenges. And I managed to conquer them. But it was basically by being a diet hermit (as I've coined the phrase). I didn't really eat out, so it wasn't an issue to make healthy food at home. I still thought craft beer tasted funny so I didn't drink it. And I wasn't spending large portions of my time staying at someone elses's apartment where I don't have my usual snacks or exercise time.
So I've come to realize that I can't just "redo" what I did 5 years ago.
I think that's an issue a lot of us who are restarting are facing. Everyone thinks "you did it once, it shouldn't be that hard!" But a lot of times the reason we gained back weight is because our lives are different. Now I have a work schedule were I'm working for 7 days straight and getting off on Monday and Tuesday instead of every other weekend. I'm in grad school where I don't get one night a week to eat a normal dinner or workout. And I have my boyfriend, where I spend many of my weekends over there and his health habits don't line up with mine most of the time. And we go out and drink beer and I generally don't workout over there. So I can't just lock myself away for the next 6 months and do this all over again. I have to make it work with the hand I'm dealt now.
The last week and a half has been focused on all the little things I can do to be successful. I've been much more conscious about choosing food at restaurants, budgeting for the calories (i.e. working out that day to "earn" it), and limiting myself to 2 beers. I've been bringing breakfast, lunch, and snacks to work so I'm not tempted to eat something unhealthy. And most importantly, I've made time for exercise instead of excuses! Working on the weekend isn't always a bad thing, I have time in between satellite passes or after they're complete (usually around noon) to workout at the office gym in the building. It's nice because no one is there. Or I can run on the trail next to work. If I have the day off, I can head ot the gym or fit in a workout at home. And of course, logging on MFP has always been part of hte equation then and now.

The moral of this post is that I totally understand how frustrating it is to hear "you did it once, you can do it again!"  Even I was kicking myself and saying the same thing. Why the heck not?! But it really takes looking at your situation now and adapting. I'd love to have that time back 5 years ago when I could focus 100% on all this, but it's not realisitic. A lot of you have had a kid, gotten married, changed jobs, had an unfortunate life event... and you can't just do everything over again. But we can make it work. I'm hoping all these little things I'm changing add up. So far I'm down about 3 pounds from the day I said I'd had enough, which was 10 days ago. Probably water, but if I hadn't made that change then I would have been worse off. I just have to keep reminding myself that it won't take overnight and that I won't get there if I get defeated now. 

Absence Make the Waist Grow Wider

So 6 months off from MFP is not a good idea. It's a terrible idea in fact. I took the one major component of my weight loss success and maintenance and I slacked. And where did that get me? 200 lbs. Yep, it needs to be written out (and bolded) because I swore to the high heavens I would NEVER EVER see that number on a scale again (barring pregnancy or something). And now I have. And I HATE IT. I know I did this to myself. Every single lazy and bad choice I made where I could have done better led to this. Every day I skipped logging because I was too lazy to look something up or I just didn't care how many calories went in and out. And now my clothes don't fit, I'm wasting money on new pants, and I feel like sh*t. Honestly, I wake up every morning kicking myself for not doing better and I've let it really get to me. I switched to a new postion at work, let working every other weekend mess up my schedule, and that only made things worse. I was already being lazy and that only gave me yet another excuse.

So, now what? I've admitted I got myself to this point. Now do something about it! I know I have stuff coming up in my life where I don't want me weight holding me back. I'm still dating my boyfriend of 4 1/2 years, so I'm anticipating that progressing to the point where I need to look amazing in a beautiful white dress ;-) Not to mention at other people's life events, the beach, etc... I want to walk up a few flights of stairs and not be winded at the top. I really want my entire closet back!! It's not that every single item of clothing doesn't fit, it's just that I looked 10 times better it all of it. I really want my Lilly Pulitzer dress to fit again!!! Plus I'm wasting a ton of money eating out when I can easily bring lunch or cook a healthy dinner. This past week was slightly weird circumstances (getting snowed into a hotel down the street from work for 2 days so I could get there in the snow storm, the joys of being an essential employee). 

So I need some rules.
- GYM! I have an awesome gym and there's no excuse not to get there. I'm shooting for 4 days a week at a minimum. I have grad class one night a week, so that leaves the other 4 evenings. On the weekends, there must be some activity (getting up and exploring with my bf or walking or helping with condo rehabbing) or an actual workout if I have to work that weekend. My work has a gym, I can go in between satelllite passes to workout for an hour.
- FOOD! The junk nibbling has to stop. I keep buying crap that I nibble on and it just adds up to hundreds of extra calories. From now on it's healthy and filling meals and snacks. MFP logging will keep me in check and make sure I'm getting enough protein in there, otherwise I'll default to bad carbs. 
- STRENGTH! It's been months since I ventured downstairs at my gym to the weights and strength machines. That was definitely a part of my sucess to build up some muscle and endurance. Not just slacking on the Crossramp machine.
- RUNNING! Ah yes, my nemesis. Even when I was in super awesome shape, I wasn't that great. But it was a workout. And it pushes me like no other kind of exercise can. So I need to hit the treadmill at the gym or the running trail right next to my offie building. I can easily run on the trail on the weekends instead of using the office gym. I might look for a 5K to run in May, although I'd only have 2-ish months to prepare from being really out of shape. I never stopped going to the gym, but my cardio endurance isn't great right now.

So, now that I've laid it all out on the table, I need to stick to it this time. I really can't keep going like this wallowing in my own self loathing. I can get myself out of this, but some things have to change. NOW!

Southwest Veggie Burger!

I've recently discovered delicious Morningstar Farms classic veggie burgers. I got over my slight skepticism that because they were veggie burgers, they had no protein in them. WRONG! They actually have 15g of protein in them, 130 calories, and 74% less fat than a regular burger! So I tasked myself to come up with a delicious burger substitute for dinner that was healthy too.

Morningstar Farms Southwest Veggie Burger

Ingredients:
- 1 Morningstar Farms classic veggie burger patty
- Half an avocado, sliced\
- A scoop of salsa (I used Trader Joes Pineapple Salsa)
- A honey wheat english muffin

Step 1: Microwave veggie burger per instructions.
Step 2: Slice up avocado and layer it on both sides of the english muffin.
Step 3: Add the veggie burger patty and scoop on some salsa.
Step 4: EAT! Om nom nom...

380 calories, 40g carbs, 18g fat, 22g protein, 12g fiber

If you want to knock out most of the carbs, go naked and ditch the bun!

Here's a photo of my delicious creation! As you can see, I got too impatient and started eating it before I took a photo.

Presented to you by Morningstar Farms and Bzz Agent!

So This Is Harder Than I Thought!

A month after I set some goals to do Insanity, lose weight, and improve my habits, I'm having issues. The scale is UP! My clothes definitely don't fit better. And I'm still having issues getting everything going in the right direction at the same time.

My basic goals were to get down to 170 (from 173.5), do Insanity 4 times a week, log daily, and not drink beer during the week by last Friday (when I left for a weekend trip). Of all that, I'm happy that I did manage to log daily and I didn't drink at all Sundays-Thursdays during that time. I didn't really drink that much to be honest. But the scale went down to 172.5 and then promptly back up and stayed between 173-175 for the next 2 weeks. And the last 2 weeks I only got to do Insanity 3 days a week. This clearly isn't going to be enough!

I've noticed my eating hasn't been crazy on calories, but it could be healthier food. There's a big difference between 1300 calories of junk or takeout and 1500 calories of healthy stuff. So, I'm starting there. I already grocery shopped and picked up bananas to eat with lunch, baby carrots and hummus for snacks, and chicken breast and sweet potatoes for dinner.

The other issue is my workouts. I have a love/hate relationship with Insanity (and Shaun T, who I bitch out on a regular basis when he tells me to get moving). It does kick my butt, but it is a lot of cardio and I haven't been able to do it as often as I wanted. I keep going back to the fact that lifting put me in the best shape I've been in. I was able to eat more, my shape was much improved from the added muscle and less body fat, and I just felt better. Powerful even. So, I'm going back to my roots, so to speak. Alternating strength days with cardio days by combining Insanity and New Rules of Lifting for Women. I'm already through almost 3 weeks of Insanity, so this will just stretch out the 60 day schedule. My initial plan is Insanity Mon, Wed and Fri or Saturday morning and then lifting at the gym Tues and Thurs. Depending on how it goes, I might reverse it to 3 lifting days and 2 cardio days, but for now I'll start this way.

And of course, I'm gonna need some more goals to help me along the way. I'm giving myself the month of February, since I don't really have any major events until my friend's wedding in May to aim for. But monthly is how I'd do it before, so I'm sticking to it. March 1st is my goal deadline for this month.

1. Get down to under 170 lbs - Right now I'm sitting at 175. And I hate it. I also had a lot of sodium the pst 2 days from traveling, so that's also not helping. Either way, that's a little over a pound a week if I can keep things moving in the righte direction.

2. Stick to my 5 workouts a week plan, initially with 3 Insanity days and 2 NROLFW days - I'm leaving myself some leeway to reverse the number of lifting and cardio days, but either way, I'm shooting for 5 workouts a week. I've been avoiding the gym entirely during the month of January, so hopefully everyone has given up on their resolutions by now and it's less crowded. The exception will probably be the week of Valentines Day, since it's on a Thursday. I'll probably only get 4 in that week.

3. Keep logging daily, EVEN ON THE WEEKENDS! - That did help me stay accountable and I ate less junk with that in mind. So I'm sticking to it.

4. Replace processed foods and snacks with healthier ones where possible - I still really like my protein bars as afternoon snacks, but adding in carrots and bananas are a good way to eat less processed foods. 

Thinking in the future, I'd LOVE to be under 160 by my friend's wedding, and that gives me 3 months to do it. And honestly, I'm not super focused on the number. If weight lifting can get my body fat percenage down again, I'm flexible with where the scale ends up. I just really want all the jeans stacked in my closet to fit again!!!! I honestly infuriates me when I try on a pair of jeans that fit perfectly fine last spring only to find that they're giving me a disgusting amount of muffin top. It makes me never want to eat again. But, I just have to work to get back into the jeans. I need to save money anyway so new ones aren't allowed.

A Week of Progress

A skinny ass wasn't built in a day, but in a week I've managed to get things going down the right path again.

I started Insanity last Friday and I've done 4 workouts total in it. Definitely a butt-kicker in a good way! I've been easing into it so I'm not too sore to function, but so far I've really liked it. I admit, I have never cursed so much at an on-screen workout instructor in my life as I do with Shaun-T, hahaha. But I keep going.

My awesomeness continued this morning with a loss of 1.3 lbs for the week! WHOOT! I'm down to 172.6, so I'm hoping that I can manage to match that amount the next 2 weeks before I leave for Phoenix to visit my friend. That would put me just under 170 for my goal. It's definitely been a week of detoxing from all the crap and booze I drank over Christmas and New Years. I'm not starving all the time at least from the reduced calories now. I shifted my meals around and added a banana with lunch and went back to chicken breast and veggies for dinner. Much more filling! Which reminds me, I really need more vegetables... my sweet potatoes were brown and icky.

So for my 4 goals, here's the official progress, for every thing I complete I get to buy something with my friend in Arizona!:

1. Get down to 170 by Friday, Jan. 25th - I went from 173.9 lbs to 172.6 lbs this week, so I'm on track!

2. No beer during the week! - Honestly, I haven't had a single beer since New Years Eve! That massive hangover put Randy and I off beer for a while, and last weekend I drank sake at the Hibachi place and then had a mixed vodka and Sprite Zero drink. Tonight there will be NO BEER with my movie at home! If I really want something, I have like, 4 oz of wine left in a bottle in the fridge to sip with the movie.

3. Do Insanity at least 4 times a week - On track! I did it Mon-Wed, skipped it last night because I got home at 7 after running errands after work (and came home to a dead Keurig coffee machine), and I'm doing it tonight. Depending on when I go to Randy's in the morning, I might try to squeeze one more in!

4. Log ALL MY FOOD! - Done! I logged over the weekend and I plan to keep it up! It actually helped a lot to see the food in my diary and keep a mental tally of what I can eat throughout the day. Defnitely a missing piece in the puzzle.

So, I'm happy with progress. So far 2013 has been kind of sucky, so at least this is going in the right direction for me. It's going to be a nice weekend so I fully plan to get out and get some fresh air and exercise!

Shopaholic Meets Foodaholic

I'm starting to realize that my lack of control with eating goes way beyond food. I have the exact same problem with shopping! Its not like I'm completely oblivious to either issue, I have a mint.com account for budgeting every dollar I spend and I keep a food diary on MFP. However, I go over more often than not and there's not deterrant for it. The scale goes up and my bank account goes down.

For being a control freak, I don't like that I get out of control with both issues. It's a very "in the moment" sort of thing, self-gratification instantly. I want that dress, so I buy it. Victoria Secret has their sale, so I buy yet another bra to add to the 2 drawers I already have full of them. Or I'll eat a few cookies because a coworker brought them in.

Either way, the consequences aren't making me stop and think about what I'm doing. There is no NEED for any of it! I don't need cookies to live, I don't need yet another dress or purse or something. It was just Christmas! I did need the new running shoes, but that's about it. Makeup is another addiction of mine, I counted 53 eyeliners last night in my collection. I know... I'm nuts.

So, my solution to both problems is to tie them together! No shopping without being a reward for doing something right! I have a trip to visit my bff in Arizona at the end of the month, and I'd like to be able to go shopping together without blowing my budget. So... here's the plan.

By time I leave for my trip (Friday, January 25th), I want to accomplish the following goals. For each one I do, I get to buy one thing with my friend.

1. Get under 170 lbs. I'm right around 174 after the holidays, so that's about a pound a week. Doable!

2. Complete at least 4 Insanity workouts each week. This gives me some leeway for a gym day.

3. Log my food daily, and yes that means weekends! I never log on the weekends anymore and I'm pretty sure that's a major reason I'm having issues. I'm just not accountable for it.

4. No beer allowed during the week. This is a major source of calories and while a beer or two on a weekend day isn't bad, there's no real reason for one during the week.


I think these are achieveable and should help make some progress with the scale and my budget! In between now and then, no extraneous shopping! No makeup, no going crazy in Victoria secret, no bored online shopping. I have a stack of giftcards from Christmas and such that I can use if I need something specific (Macy's, Kohls and Express, so that has me decently covered). Of course I pick the month after Christmas with all the good sales to do this... but it's time to get things under control. I hate feeling out of control and lately it's been stressing me out. I'm not happy with myself, but I keep going back to my old habits with comfort food (and beer) and shopping. Hopefully this helps get me motivated again!

2012: A Year of Ups and Downs

I've been filling out a year end survey since I was 17 or something. Kind of crazy, but I like having a way to keep track of what I've managed to do every year. This year was definitely some ups and downs, mainly on the scale! I started out the year doing incredibly well, I moved into my condo, I started lifting heavy and I was down into a size 6 and in the 150s by the end of Spring. Then came summer, and some laziness, and then Fall was lots of travel. And before I knew it, BAM 10 lbs came back... and then a few more. Right now I'm about 13 lbs above where I really want to be. I'm starting to get out of shape from not running or lifting on a regular basis. So, things need to change. Workouts are taking priority again, eating crap is not going to happen. Randy has agreed to eat in more so we can save money and cook better food. I'm gonna make us healthy tacos this weekend!

Anyway, here's my take on the last year, and hopeful this year will have more downs on the scale and more ups for my personal life!

1. What did you do in 2012 that you'd never done before?

Moved into the condo that I bought, celebrated 2 years with Randy, traveled to Colorado for the Great American Beer Festival, traveled to Boston (last time I was there I was 5 and don't remember much), won an award at work for a proposal we wrote, got my own satellite program to oversee, did some pretty amazing things with weight lifting (who thought I could do man pushups without thinking twice!).


2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions?
Well, last year I wanted to maintain my weight... and I didn't. I'm up like 13 lbs from where I really want to be, but I've still maintained a large majority of my weight loss. My resolution for this year is to get my weight back down to where I'm comfortable (under 160 or so), fit back into the pile of jeans that I had to put away because they were too small!!!, and get my healthy habits back on track. I really need to stop making excuses and letting will power go out the window.


3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Nope
4. Did anyone close to you die?
No

5. What countries did you visit?
I stayed in the US again this year, but I did get to see a new state: Colorado!
6. What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012?
My will power back! I've been lazy and I really need to find that drive that I had in the first place when I lost all the weight. It's inside there somewhere, I just need to light the fire.


7. What dates from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
The day I moved into my condo, all mine!!! A lovely Valentine's Day with Randy, Dana's wedding part 2, my cousin's wedding in the summer, two awesome trips to Boston and one trip to Colorado, a fun business trip to California (more breweries to see!), my birthday/anniversary with Randy, and the day we found out we won the Warp 10 award at work!


8. What was your biggest achievement(s) of the year?
Winning the Warp10 award with Randy for our proposal. And the fact that I could dead lift like 125 lbs and squat 120 lbs. I need to get those skills back!

9. What was your biggest failure?
Putting back on the weight in the fall that really didn't need to happen. I got lazy.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nothing terrible, just some ill-timed colds. Oh, and then were was the day that a bad pair of flipflips gave me Weasel-toe... wiki what it is, it's amusing...
11. What was the best thing you bought?
I technically bought my condo last year, but I moved in January.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Randy and my fabulous family and friends
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Nothing stands out too much.

14. Where did most of your money go?
My shopping habits, a few trips that I paid for, and my mortgage payment every month! Really looking forward to a giant tax refund from the mortgage interest deduction tho!
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Lots of fun travels with Randy, having my own space, drinking great beers.
16. What song will always remind you of 2011?
The Scientist by Coldplay
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? I'm about the same I think
b) thinner or fatter? UGH, fatter... I'm fixing that tho!
c) richer or poorer? I'd say I'm probably richer, since I've built some savings back up after the condo down payment. I need to budget more cafeully tho in 2013.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Dilligently exercising and eating better!
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Excessive eating out and skipping workouts.
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
I went to my aunt and uncle's house for my mom's side and my granny and pop's house for my dad's side. The usual...
21. Did you fall in love in 2012?
I have Randy, can't get better than that!

22. How many one-night stands?
Nada... that would be bad!

23. What was your favorite TV program?
I really like Dance Moms, I'll admit it! I also love Big Bang Theory.
24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Eh, probably not.
25. What was the best book you read?
I just finished the first book of the Hunger Games. Gotta download the next one!

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
I'm kind of on the Taylor Swift bandwagon...
27. What did you want and get?
I wanted my condo, and I got that and the nice space it comes with.
28. What did you want and not get?
I wanted a new car, but I'm going to hold out for another 6 months at least. It's so much cheaper without a car payment!
29. What was your favorite film of this year?
I really liked Skyfall and Argo. I'm going to see the Hobbit soon too!
30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 26 and it was my 2 year anniversary with Randy too! It was kind of a chaotic day. We got up at 5am, flew back from Boston, made it to the Warp10 awards ceremony just as they were announcing us!!! Then I worked for a bit, went over to Randy's, had dinner at Firework Pizza (great beer!) and then we went back to my place and hung out and slept. Then I had to wake up at 5am again for a 7am flight to California for business! It was such a whirlwind...
31.What was one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Not gaining weight.
32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2012?
I'm a big fan of skinny jeans and knee high boots at the moment! I haven't changed much besides that, work casual, lots of dresses in the summer.
33. What kept you sane?
Hanging out with Randy while drinking a good beer.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I don't really know... Daniel Craig makes an awesome James Bond.
35. What political issue stirred you the most?
Oh so many to choose from... lets go with the election. I knew Romney was a goner, but I wasn't so sure everyone was smart enough to recognize that and not vote for him.

36. Who did you miss?
I miss everyone that lives all over the place! It's nice to get to see people tho when I visit.
37. Who was the best new person you met?
Dunno.... there's an assortment of people from work that I've met.
38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012.
It is really easy to get wrapped up in the moment and forget about the bigger picture. I'm disappointed that I completely let myself go in the Fall, but I recognized it and I'm working to get back on track. By Spring, I want to be in shape!
39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

Dust yourself off and try again!

New Motivations and Old Habits

As this year wraps up, I've been thinking about the progress I made... and then the progress I completely erased. It's scary to realize how quickly it can all reverse itself! Photos from just early summer and spring seem different to one I took last week (and hated). The difference: 15 or so pounds. I'm only 5'2" so even 5 lbs shows up on me. 15 lbs has resulted in a new jean size...

It really easy to start making excuses and it's really hard to stop falling back into them. Well I'm on a trip so it's OK. But then my entire month of October was spent traveling. That's really the turning point in all of this. Up until September, I was hovering around 160 give or take 2 lbs. My clothes still fit and I was happy with my weight lifting progress. Then an entire month spend hopping around the country for work and personal vacations got me into lazy mode. Eating out, skipping workouts, eating what other people were eating, and drinking lots of beer. And my mindset completely shifted back to what it was before I tried to lose weight. It was indifference and it was going with my what stomach was telling me instead of my brain.

The end result of all of this is that now I weigh 173.4 lbs of this morning. That's a weight I haven't seen since I was losing the 60 lbs I lost all in one go between February to December 2010. I ended that year around 150 lbs. I ended last year around 152 or so lbs I think. And I'm ending this year up about 20 lbs from that. I have a bit more muscle now, but certainly not 20 lbs of it. Maybe 2 or 3.

Here's my chart... notice a trend?

It's like doing OK, weight lifting so it goes up somewhat in Feb-April and then I'm doing great through June. And then summer hits, I don't log the couple lbs I put on, finally fess up to it in September. And then there's November. Yep, I'm screwed. Why after 2 years of maintaining did I suddenly just give up? Part of it is laziness for sure. And the other part is that it is SO frustrating that I can't just be normal. I'm always formerly fat and I have to watch my diet and exercise a lot more than someone who has been a normal weight their entire life. It was disheartening to see that even if I don't pay full attention to it for a month, this is what happens. And now I have to go through the months of losing it again.

Here's the photo taken last weekend. I loved the dress, but I hated how it was tight around my hips and my face looked a lot heavier than in my other photos. And given how my pants have been fitting lately, I can tell where all the weight went.

So, here's my goal. One pound a week. At that rate, I'm looking at 3 months. Maybe it will be more, maybe it will be less, but by Springtime when I have to put away the sweaters I've been hiding in, I want to look good. I really wanted to be under 170 for New Years, and it's still possible if I stop screwing myself over every weekend. I want a different photo in that dress again, with a thinner face and less pooch around the middle! I really hate to be THAT person who gets back into gear for New Years, so I'm starting this week instead. I tried to start like 3 weeks ago, managed to lose like 2 lbs and then put it all back on again. No more screwing around. I'm trying to save money too, so buying bigger clothes is not an option!!!

The 80/20 Rule Doesn't Work...

...when that 20% is bad enough to COMPLETELY cancel out the 80%!

Or when it becomes 70/30, 60/40... well you get the idea.

So this summer I started out doing amazing with my New Rules of Lifting for Women program, I was fitting in my size 6 jeans, and in general I felt pretty good in my bikini. 80/20 rule was going well, my weekdays were on point and I wasn't going too overboard on the weekends so I was maintaining where I wanted to be.

Then come July, work started getting busy, I did some traveling, I did stuff with my boyfriend in the middle of the week, etc. So 80/20 started to slip and my weekdays were getting worse and my weekends even more so. To the point where in August I got sick for an entire week (no gym at all), travelled even more and only got 2-3 workouts in a week. DEFINITELY not enough to cancel out my weekends.

So, it's back to basics. The result of my 60/40, 50/50, whatever problems was a 5 pound weight gain (UGH!) and my size 6 jeans not fitting at all at the moment. I didn't notice it that much because I wear dresses all summer and I was enjoying myself (a little too much I think). Now that it's just about Fall, I would like my pants and tops to fit properly, and even look awesome, so things have got to change.

I know what works, I've done this whole thing several times over. I can finally see the results of my heavy weight lifting program that I started back in February. It's very empowering to be hauling around 100 lb barbells like it's nothing (well, sort of, haha) and I have some defined arm and back muscles. I'm a regular fixture in the weight section of the gym and people have been commenting on my progress. Now that I've reached that point, I think it's time to balance it out with more cardio. I still have more fat loss to go, my beautiful muscles that I've worked so hard on are hiding underneath the fat!!! What's the point of that?? I want to fit in those size 6 jeans! I want the scale to go back to 155-157! And most importantly, I don't want to erase what I have worked really hard for in the last 2 1/2 years.

If I want to look at it positively, exactly 2 years ago this month I reached 160 lbs for the first time in my adult life, and I've kept it there since. I was even around 150 for a while before I took up the weight training instead of killing myself with cardio. I know I can get myself there, it's just going to require cutting back on all the cheating that I've allowed myself. I can still have beer, but when you throw in a hamburger and onion rings it's just really over the top. I only have 2 stages left in my New Rules program and I would love to have some impressive after photos. Right now my stomach is bigger than I would like so I've got more work to do.

My goal in the next few weeks is to get down to under 160 lbs again. I also want to finish Stage 6 of the NROLFW by time I leave for a week in Colorado on Sunday, Oct 7th. My birthday/anniversary with my boyfriend is on October 22nd and I want to look my best!

The Hazards of Summer

I really do love summer... time to do lots of different activities, people coming to visit, spending the evenings going out when it's not too hot. But that comes with less time for the gym, more opportunities for eating (and drinking) off my plan, and weekends where I'm out and about. The end result is that I've gained back a few pounds and I'm not pleased.

I managed to survive spring with getting to the gym at least 3 days a week, if not 4. I did my strength training and cardio, plus I didn't do too bad with food. I was able to stay between 156-158 for several months. Now I'm up above 160 and it's been that way for a few weeks. Pretty much all downhill from the 4th of July... and I know I'm completely in control of my destiny (and the scale), but for some reason summer just kills my motivation. It's too hot for the gym, I want a mojito, I want to go out with my boyfriend in the middle of the week. I want to LIVE A LITTLE! I'd be OK with the scale if I knew strength training was still happening 3 times a week, but it hasn't been. 2 has been the usual, some weeks one! This week I caught a nasty cold and it kept me out of the gym Mon-Wed.

And all I keep thinking to myself is excuses, excuses! I am fully capable of making better choices, getting to the gym more, not picking unhealthy food when I go out. I've been doing this for 2 1/2 years, its not rocket science :P

I think I need to reassess a few things. First off is my food. I tend to sabotage myself, especially around the boyfriend. We've gotten much better about cooking healthy dinners together on Sunday night, but I need to be better about what I do Fri-Sun afternoon. We need to be more active too, fall will be great for that when the heat subsides, but even now we can go to the pool or walk around indoors somewhere. When I'm by myself during the week, I'm terrible about nibbling on treats or going overboard on carbs. And I need to get to the gym 4 days a week again. Kickball takes up my Thursday nights, so Mon-Wed and Friday need to be gym days.

And I need to stop making excuses. With the exception of having a cold this week, lately my motivation to get to the gym has been slacking. Doing the easy thing and just eating junk food isn't going to cut it when I know I can do better. And the excuse that it's too hard to try and find healthier alternatives is kind of BS. I finally managed to take a plain chicken breast and make it taste delicious, no pre-bought chicken breast and it's healthier! I will bring my lunch to work every day possible (like today I packed a lunch to go to a coworker's going away lunch at a pizza place). And I will stop having bad snacks in the evening. I should really just throw out the ice cream in the freezer...

I know what to do. I just need to follow through with it! I really would like to lose these couple pounds over the next few weeks. It's not impossible. I know once they start to creep back on it's a slippery slope. I'm nipping it in the butt asap before it's 10 extra lbs. I can deal with 3.

NROLFW Phase 4 Done and Needing a Shakeup

It took over a month, but I finally finished Phase 4 for the New Rules of Lifting for Women program. 4th of July holiday gave me a week off and an incredibly hectic schedule cut my lifting days down to 2 a week (some weeks only 1!).

And now I'm starting to see the rather unfortunate effects of that. I haven't taken new measurements, but I'm fairly certain they would have gone up. The scale was hovering around 159 in the past 2 weeks, but this weekend of travel, a wedding, traveling back and trying to submit a proposal for work by 11:59pm on Monday night had me eating fast food or restaurant food just about every meal. And now I'm at 163! ACK!!! I know its probably water retention, but it frustrates me slightly that I'm veering off track half way through the program.

I knew 7 phases would be long, but I saw really amazing progress between Phase 1-3. Then towards the end of 3 and all through 4, I slacked off and summer hit. My strength has at least gotten a bit better, I've continued to increase my weight on most exercises, but my inches haven't shrunk and the scale has inched up a pound or two. I think this needs to be a bit of a wake up call to get back on track so I can really see some results by the end of all 7 phases. I still want a flatter stomach and toned arms, but right now there's extra fat hiding all my hard work with the weights.

So coming up for Phase 5, I have a few goals.

1.) Get the scale back down to a reasonable number (156-158) through cleaner eating and less junk food/fast food/extra treats etc. Yes, it's summer and I really love the local custard ice cream from Del Ray, but things like that need to be a treat and not something we do every time. My weekends are still going to be busy, but I really need to focus on not letting myself go during the week too.

2.) Start to cook my dinners again. I've been cheating and having a protein shake as my dinner lately because I don't want to cook. While it's OK on occasion, it's probably not good to replace every dinner with it. I'm going to make healthy chicken breast with some veggies or quinoa or something.

3.) Get to the gym or workout 4 days a week MINIMUM! And I want to try to be more active on the weekends with my boyfriend, go kayaking or for a walk in DC or something that gets us up and moving. It'll benefit the both of us. I'm not going to see results from NROLFW if I can't get at least 2 strength workouts in a week, 3 is preferable.

4.) Stop the excuses. I know perfectly well what I'm doing. I know how many calories I'm eating, I know when I make bad choices, when I choose to nap instead of working out. Those aren't going to make me happier with myself unless I do something positive to change it.

And here's a few highlights from Phase 4 with strength progress.

Deadlift - 115lbs to 135 lbs
Underhand lateral pulldown - 105lbs to 115lbs
Step ups - 30 lbs per hand using a box that goes up to my knees to 15 lbs per hand on a box that goes halfway up my thighs (it's a BIG step up!)
Front squat/push press - 55lbs to 60 lbs
Dumbbell prone Cuban snatch - 15 lbs per arm to 20 lbs per arm

A Minor Rebellion

Have you ever had a day where you want to throw all the healthy stuff out the window and just do whatever you want for once? Not having to worry about spending an hour+ at the gym after work, or staring at a menu for 5 minutes trying to find the healthiest option, or walking past the box of donuts that your coworker brought in to share. Or even just something as simple as drinking something other than water with your meal!

I may have had a day like that yesterday. It was 99 degrees out, my gym has crappy air conditioning, and I just wanted to eat some Chick Fil A and get a small cup of ice cream with it, while skipping the gym after work since I didn't want to die. And I did it. Still stayed around my calories, and I did walk around the mall on my lunch and around Town Center after work so I wasn't completely sedentary.

And ya know what, the world didn't stop turning! And the scale didn't shatter when I stepped on it this morning... it was actually down to 158.3, which is the lowest I've seen all week. And I REALLY enjoyed the cup of ice cream and having a small bottle of beer with my dinner.

I think sometimes we get so caught up in being PERFECT with trying to lose weight/be healthy/reduce body fat %/whatever your goal may be, that we forget that it's not really something we're going to do every single day of the rest of our lives. There will be hot days where all you want is a beer and an ice cream cup, and there will be days where all you want to do is hit the gym and sweat it out. I've had both. I logged what I had yesterday, and I didn't wake up this morning hating myself for "stepping out of line" for a day.

The most important part of this whole journey is to think about the long term. I've been maintaining my 60-ish lb weight loss for nearly a year and a half now. If I tried to stick to 1200 calories a day, crazy cardio, gym 6 days a week, etc, I'd completely rebel and regress back into old habits. But if I let myself have a mini rebellion day every now and then, a beer, an ice cream, skipping the gym, eating out with the boyfriend, etc. it keeps me sane! And it's not enough of an impact to throw the scale into oblivion. I bounce back, I get motivated the next day to continue, and that's the most important thing. I admit sometimes I give myself a little too much rope and end up hanging myself (i.e. the scale freaks out for a week or something), but I pick up where I left off.

I just wanted to explain my thought process on long term success. I know many people on here are still in weight loss mode... but what happens when you're near or at your goal? You still have the rest of your life to deal with it! I like being a voice for the maintainers, since it's not a voice you here as often. My victories are in a new weight for my deadlift, or surviving a week away without gaining 5 lbs in the process. And just being happy to buy clothing that is 5 sizes smaller than I was 3 years ago. It's all about balance and seeing progress in those things.

And yes, eating a cup of ice cream every once in a while!

NROLFW Phase 3 Results

So here's what happens if you dilligently do all the workouts, increase your weights.... and eat and drink terribly on the weekends. You lose 0.5" total. LOL!

So Phase 3 was only 3 weeks long, 8 workouts total... and definitely a buttkicking. I really liked Workout A, and Workout B took some effort to make it a challenge (all that ab stuff, bleck). I have mastered the Body Weight Matrix, and my thighs apparently have responded since they're the only area of my body that lost inches! I will say that my legs in general look much more toned lately, and more lean. I usually have chunky thighs and chubby calves, but they're transforming into muscle and I like it.

As for the other half of the equation, my eating hasn't been great the 3 weeks of this phase. I had weekend travel, 2 Nationals MLB baseball games, long weekends with the boyfriend when we'd eat out or drink beer. I had an awesome time, but it didn't help much for trying to lose weight or inches. It just goes to show how you can work your butt off in the gym, but if you don't balance it with eating right, it won't do a darn thing for the scale!!! (or the measuring tape in my case).

I'm more hopefuly for this Phase. As much as my boyfriend rocks, he's not around this weekend since his mom is visiting and that means I won't be tempted to go overboard. I can control my meals better and I won't drink as much (if at all). That should go a long way in getting back on track. The following weekend I'm in Jersey for 5 days for 4th of July and since there's usually not food in the house, I don't eat much, LOL! I will have to take a break from my NROLFW workouts while I'm home tho, but I'll still try to get to the gym at least once with my sister to do a regular workout. My next big event is my cousin's wedding on July 21st and I want to be looking my best! So... I've got a month to get there, hopefully I'll have just finished up Phase 4 that week.

If anyone is interested, here's my progress with the workouts in Phase 3. I'm rather proud of my incline bench press, 60 lbs is a lot for a tiny girl like me! The guys probably thought I was going to drop them on my head, hahaha. Nope! I also can finally hold a plank for 90 seconds, but it hurts!!!

Workout A
One Arm Dumbbell Snatch - 30 lbs to 35 lbs
Single Leg Romanian Deadlift - 30 lbs in each hand to 35 lbs (60 to 70 lbs total)
Barbell Bent Over Row - 60 lbs to 85 lbs
Single Arm Overhead Squat - 15 lbs above, 30 lbs below to 20 above, 30 below
Incline Bench Press - 25 lbs each arm to 30 lbs each arm (50 to 60 lbs total)
Plank - Holding it for 70 seconds to holding it for 90 seconds, whoot!
Reverse Wood Chop - 50 lbs to 60 lbs
BWM - Slowest time was 2m 24sec, fastest time was 1m 25sec!

Workout B
Deadlift/Bent Over Row - 65 lbs to 80 lbs
Single Leg Squat (used the box) - 15 lbs in each hand to 25 lbs
Wide Grip Lat Pulldown - 100lbs to 115 lbs
Back Extension - Holding a 12 lb medicine ball to a 25 lb plate
YTWL (bane of my existance) - Stuck with 8lbs the whole time
Swiss Ball Crunch - Held a 25 lbs plate over my head the whole time

No One's Perfect

I realized I haven't blogged in a while, mainly because I've been on the same roller coaster that I'm always on. Strength training has become my main workout activity and I'm loving it. I'm used to eating more calories on a daily basis and getting enough protein. And I still have my weekends and my days where all my best intentions go completely to crap and I start the week up a few pounds.

Like this week.

The day before Memorial Day I managed to get to 156.6 lbs. I felt tiny, my bikini looked good, and I was coming off a week where I had managed to workout all 5 days after work. And then came Memorial Day weekend. I didn't do too terrible, since we cooked our own meals quite a bit and only ate out twice in 3 full days. We did drink, but it wasn't excessive. Then the week after I only got 2 workouts in because of my schedule and I left for Boston early on Friday morning. Travel ALWAYS throws me for a loop, and despite my best intentions and efforts, I was up a few pounds on Monday. And then Tuesday was a baseball game where I threw caution to the wind and ate a HUGE dinner at the restaurant while drinking beer.

Needless to say, I can talk all I want but it doesn't mean much if I'm not able to follow through with it!

I honestly wish it was easier. And I wish my boyfriend and I didn't enjoy beer so much. Or junk food wasn't so readily available (try ordering healthy in a baseball stadium!). But, I've learned its about tradeoffs and making the best choices possible. Sure, I can go the game and refuse to eat or drink anything, but there's no enjoyment in that. I love baseball games and I only go to a few a year. And I only travel a few times a year on top of that. It just happens that it all fell within the same week.

So, here's my promise to myself. I'm not going to stop myself from living a little and beating myself up over it. I'm pissed the scale shot up 4 lbs to 161 lbs. It's not a number I want to see. But I know how I got there. And I know it doesn't stop me from doing my best in the next week to fix it. I didn't go through all this for the last 2 1/2 years to let one week drag me down. I've got the next 40 or 50 or 60 years to deal with life situations. There are always ways to improve, and there will always be trips or baseball games. What's the fun in being a healthy weight if I'm miserable?!?

So, to focus on the good things, here's my accomplishments for the week.
- I held a plank for 90 seconds without giving up! My previous record was 70 seconds.
- I can bench press 60 lbs on an inclined bench now.
- I can actually see the muscles in my upper back and shoulders!
- It's bikini season and I don't feel like a cow in my swimsuits. Which is good, because I own like 6 bikinis and a few tankinis!

NROLFW Phase 2 Results with Photos!!

On Monday, I finished Phase 2 of the New Rules of Lifting For Women! Given my short attention span, I'm happy I've kept up the program as dilligently as I have. I started the last week of February, so it's been about 3 months where strength training has been my focus. I still do cardio on my off-days (2 days a week on average, with one of them being kickball night), and I do cardio to warm up before strength training. The one challenge has been reeling in my eating on the weekends, and honestly every weekend is a battle. I know I can see better results if I stop sabotaging myself, so it's something I'm trying extra hard to focus on before summer starts. But, for what you really came here for, my results!

Change in Measurements:

Waist - 30.5" to 30" (P2: -0.5", Overall: -3")

Hips - 37.5" to 37" (P2: -0.5", Overall: -2")

Thigh - 24" to 24" (P2: no change, Overall: no change)

Calf - 15.5" to 15" (P2: -0.5", Overall: -1")

Bicep - 12" to 12" (P2: no change, Overall: no change, but way more muscle)

Chest - 36" to 36" (P2: no change, Overall: no change... good!)

Belly Button* - 33" to 32" (P2: -1", Overall: -1")

Abductors* - 39" to 38" (P2: -1", Overall: -1")

*Forgot to measure these things when I started, so I only have the results between the end of Phase 1 and the end of Phase 2.

Body fat % - 28.9% to  27.8% (P2: -1.1%, Overall: 1.9%)
Weight: 156.1 lbs to 157.7 lbs (basically I haven't lost any weight from the start. I'm the exact same weight the day I started the program. It bounces between 156-159.

Workout A:
Front squat/push press - 40 lb barbell to 50 lb barbell
Step-ups - 25 lb kettlebells in each hand to 30 lbs in each hand
One Point Rows - 20 lb kettlebells in each hand to 25 lb kettlebells
Static Lunge - 15 lb kettlebells in each hand to 25 lb kettlebells
Push-up - 10 pushups with feet on the squishy part of a Bosu ball to 12 reps.
Plank - 60 seconds... no progress on this one. It's HARD!
Cable Wood Chop - 50 lbs to 60 lbs

Workout B:
Deadlift - 115 lbs to 125 lbs (I didn't use the box, I'm so short that regular deadlifts are challenging enough!
Bulgarian Split Squat - 15 lb kettlebells in each hand to 25 lb kettlebells
Underhand Lat Pulldown - 100 lbs to 105 lbs (but it got easier, I wanted to try 115 but forgot)
Reverse Lunge from Box - 25 lbs kettlebells in each hand - no progress, someone had the 30 lb bells that I wanted yesterday to try
Cuban Snatch - 12 lbs each arm to 15 lbs each arm (couldn't manage 20 lbs, next highest dumbbell)
Swiss Ball Crunch - Holding a 20 lb kettlebell straight over my head to a 25 lb kettlebell
Reverse Crunch - 10 reps, no change
Lateral flexion - Honestly, I skipped this one.
Prone Cobra - 60 second hold, no change

And now the best part... my Progress Photos!!!!!

And here is a photo from today in my SIZE 6 FITTED GOAL JEANS! I used to fit in these when I weighed 10 lbs less than I do right now. And they zipped but I looked like a sausage in them when I tried them on the day I start the program back in February. And now they fit!!!!! I just need to have good posture, my muffin top hasn't completely gone away (and after losing 60 lbs and 5 dress sizes, I don't know if it will ever look perfect) but I'm happy with it. It just means no slouching!

So, here is living proof that weight is just a number... and a rather useless one at that. Do I look like I'm 5'2.5" and weigh 157 lbs? I wear a size 6! I can squat 10 lbs less than my body weight. I can deadlift 125 lbs without blinking (well, not really, it hurts my eyes, but you get it). And most importantly, I've finally started to break my unhealthy relationship with the scale. It doesn't mean strength training is the end-all-be-all, or that cardio is all you need. I do both, I enjoy both, and the results are what you see above.

Not My Best 5K, But An Enlightening One

I ran my fifth 5K yesterday morning through the streets of Washington DC. It was exactly one year ago that I ran my first 5K in the same race, getting a time of 39:33 with running the entire race. This time I got 36:26, and it was my second slowest time. I'm used to getting better with every race that I run. I ran my 5K in March at a blistering 34:51 (for me, haha), breaking my record by 30 seconds.

This time was different, and I knew it would be. I haven't trained outside because of allergies and moving to a new neighborhood that lacks a consistant sidewalk network. I've been doing more strength training, so my cardio was somewhat reduced. And I woke up with a stomach ache and sore muscles from my previous workout on Friday. So I went into the race with reasonable expectations.

Once I started, I could tell it wasn't going to be pretty. I was already looking at my HRM to check the time after 5 minutes. My legs were definitely still sore, and my inhaler didn't help much so my HR shot up to 180 within a few minutes and stayed in the high 180s most of the time I ran. Oh, and it was humid, bleck. But, I set a goal. Even if I don't run this entire race, I'm running the first 2 miles as fast as I can.

Mile 1:
Running towards the US Capitol on Pennsylvania Ave is pretty darn awesome. So at least I had a goal that I was working towards. Once we rounded the corner and ran in front of it, I saw Mile Marker 1 pop up in the distance and saw I was on a pretty good pace for myself. I crossed Mile 1 in about 11:30, so I was happy.

Mile 2:
This is where I started questioning my ambitious goal of running the first 2 miles. I slowed my pace and stopped to walk for 30 seconds at the water station. Around 20 minutes in and my lungs were ON FIRE (imagine Chalene Johnson yelling that in the Turbo Fire video, that's how I felt). Yes, yes I'm on fire. But I refused to stop until I passed Mile Marker 2. And I stuck to it. I passed it right around 23:30, for an 11:45 split. Not too shabby...

Mile 3:
I stopped to walking for a minute or two after passing Mile 2, and I really wanted to try to run the rest of it without another walking break. Yeah, that didn't happen. I was completely spent and I knew it. So I ran for probably half a mile, walked again, and ran thinking I was going to see Mile Marker 3 soon. Nope, it was still .2 miles ahead despite my Map My Run telling me I had just hit 3 miles. Not sure what was going on there, but whatever.

The Finish:
Passed Mile Marker 3 and knew a record time was completely out the window, but I wanted the best finish I could muster. I made a feeble dash for the finish and that last .1 mile felt like it was going to kill me. Crossed the finish line in 36:26 official time and had a HR of 191. Then I limped off to the popsicle stand and had one of those red white and blue rocket ones, haha. I totally earned it.

I learned a few times from that race. I will not always beat my record from the race before, everyone has off days and this was one of mine. I can't always count on hills in a course to give me a boost in speed (happened in the last race). My strength training is not a complete replacement for actually running outside to prepare. And primarily, even if I'm not going to break a record, I might die trying. I'm in need of some ibuprofen and an iced coffee today... haha.

A New Mindset

When I first started out, I was so dead set on hitting 140 lbs that the scale was the entire focus of measuring my progress. It was 75 lbs away from where I was starting and it seems like 200 lbs. And then I managed to get myself within 8 lbs of that goal. But I didn't expect to completely stall out before reaching it! I wasn't even a healthy weight by BMI standards, so why was my body being stubborn?

Well, after a year of soul searching, or at least answer searching, I've finally found a reason. Who the bleep cares! BMI is total crap. Does it take into account that I've got quite a bit of lean muscle? NOPE! Or the fact that I fit into size 6 even though I'm considered now 10-15 lbs overweight? NOPE! It's all crap... haha. I might be 5'2.5", but I'm a little powerhouse of muscle and determination. I don't recommend getting in a fight with me, I'm a fiesty one, haha.

So what it really boils down to is that when you're approaching your goal weight, that number is pretty much garbage. I know there are definitely women out there who do hit the number they set for themselves, but there are a bunch of others like me that don't. And that probably shouldn't. I'm not going to starve myself, cut out my strength training, and give up the things I enjoy just to reach a specific number. So I'm focusing on my waist and hip measurements, body fat percentage, and most importantly, how smokin' I look in my clothes and swim suits. Whether it's at 150 lbs, 155 lbs, or by some miracle I got down into the 140s, I'll survive.

But does this mean I'm never stepping on the scale again? Definitely not! I can't give that up, because it does help me stay in check. If I see the number jump up 2 lbs, I know it's because I let myself go a bit too much, or I'm super sore from a workout. But being conscious of that number is important for me to keep moving forward. I don't ever want to go back to where I  was, and seeing the number daily is a reminder of where I am in comparison. I'm just about to finish Phase 2 of the New Rules of Lifting for Women and I'll redo measurements, and take a set of comparison pictures from 2 weeks after starting the program. I'm curious to see if I notice any changes, since I see myself all the time and don't notice if I'm really shrinking. But my jeans do fit better and my size 6 tight fitted NY&Co pants are getting more wearable. Maybe in another Phase or two I'll be able to wear them in public again. My main goal is to shrink the muffin top and pooch. That's where a large majority of my excess fat is hiding and it's gotta go, haha!

For everyone who sees the scale everyday and freaks out because it's not the number they want, please step back and reassess how you can measure your progress. It's honestly taken over a year for me to get to this point, and I still beat myself up often over making the wrong decisions. But at least I'm not shooting for an unobtainable goal anymore.

Food Frustrations

Being a creature of habit, I love knowing what I'm eating each day, how many calories are in it, and how much of it I can have without blowing my calorie count out of the water. But throw in meals that I can't prepare myself and my OCD kicks in...

Take this weekend. The first half I was awesome and made myself dinner Friday night, worked out Saturday morning, and made myself lunch. Scale said 156.3, which is right about the lowest that I've been the last few weeks. Then I met up with my boyfriend and we had dinner out, brunch on Sunday out, takeout for dinner on Sunday. And we don't eat at places with ANY nutrition info! I can make all the awesome choices I want at these places, but I'm severely limited by the lack of available information. We were at independently owned local restaurants, so looking something up on a website isn't possible.

Usually I make my own lunches during the week, but yesterday and Monday I had breakfast on the go, lunch from a quick food place (Wegmans and Chick Fil A) and Monday was dinner out! Some had nutrition info, and I noticed that really steered my choices in the right direction.

I think a big reason that people tend to go overboard when they go out (myself included), is the lack of information about what they're eating. It's on just about every product sold in the grocery store, why can't restaurants be held to the same standards? Some people say "well, even if I know there are 500 calories in an order of fries, I'm going to order it". That's fine to me, at least you know what you're getting yourself into. But I think for many people like myself, having that information is a big deterrant to making the unhealthy choice. Especially with food that masquerades itself as healthy, but is loaded with fat and calories (I'm looking at you, excessively decadent salads!!!).

So, should all places that sell food be required to publish the basic nutrition info (I'm talking macros of fat, carbs and protein plus sodium and calories)? Maybe it's too much big brother, but the healthy crisis in the country is getting out of control. Having the information necessary to eat healthy is a key step in abating it. I know that if I knew something had more fat and calories than another choice, I'd pick the better option. Maybe it would force restaurants to rethink dishes that come in especially unhealthy.

I'm partly to blame for making bad choices at restaurants, but so many of us eat away from home on a regular basis. I don't think it's too much to ask to know what I'm really eating. Stepping on the scale and seeing 159 this morning was hard, but even when I try to make the best of the situation when eating out, it doesn't always work.

Just a thought that I had today. I really wish the legislation that passed a while back (I believe it's part of the health care law now in contention in the Surpreme Court) was more comprehensive, and went into effect sooner. Our health really can't wait for them to make up their minds...

Mirror, Mirror On the Wall...

Why do you keep messing with my head???

I've really managed to get my mind off of the idea that "weight loss equals progress", even though I still weigh daily, I don't put nearly as much emphasis on what the number is. So, I'm trying to measure in other ways like taking body measurements or just judging how I look in the mirror.

Which I've realized is driving me crazier than the scale sometimes!

My mirror at home is slightly messed up, it kind of bends so it looks like a funhouse mirror, and thus I tend to think I look fat. I put on a pair of jeans and a top and I'm convinced my stomach looks puffy. Then the next day I'll be wearing a different outfit and look in the bathroom mirror at work and think of how tiny my waist looks. The inability to put a number on my appearance is oddly stressing me out.

I like what I see with the muscles in my upper body, but I hate the squishy stomach. I like my toned calves and hate my still thick thighs. I think I just need to stop looking at before and after pictures because it's not what I'm going to look like. I don't know if the dreaded pooch will ever go away. Or if my thighs will ever slim down. So instead of shifting my focus away from the scale and onto something more productive, I just end up fixating on something else. And then I see that people were able to go from 200 lbs all the way down to 120 or 130 and I wonder what in the world is stopping me from getting past 150. It's not an unrealistic expectation. I'm only 5'2.5", a healthy BMI is 141 at the top of the range! Have I really screwed my body up that bad in the first 23 years than I can't get to a healthy weight? And no, I'm not considered overweight because I'm packing serious muscle. I have more than the average person, I'd guess, but there's still enough body fat where I could lose 10 lbs and look SO much better.

It's just hard to measure progress without a scale, because my mind plays tricks on me. Between that and the lingering irritation with my inability to get down to a healthy weight really frustrates me to no end. I didn't expect to magically be skinny, but after busting my butt for 2 years, I never thought I'd get stuck before I even hit a healthy BMI. I know I'm not an angel, I still eat unhealthy food on occasion or drink. But I eat my calories, I eat healthy, and I workout 5 times a week. Something doesn't add up... It's just that after 2 years, I really wonder if anything will work.

Results!!! - NROLFW Phase 1 DONE!

I've finally completed Phase 1 of the New Rules of Lifting for Women (NROLFW)!!! It was definitely a step outside my comfort zone, but now I've become a regular on the weights side of the gym. Guys say hello, personal trainers help me with my questions, and I get the occasional "that tiny girl is lifting heavier than me!!" glare. Gotta love those moments... I relish in having one attempt to help me like I have NO clue what I'm doing, only for me to adjust the squat rack and load up 135 lbs onto it like it's nothing.

Onto the awesome part... my results! I started on February 27th with Workout 1A, so just over 5 weeks ago. I took measurements and weighed myself to start. Here's the changes!

Change in Measurements:
Waist - 33" to 30.5" (-2.5")
Hips - 39" to 37.5" (-1.5")
Thigh - 24" to 24" (no change)
Calf - 16" to 15.5" (-0.5")
Bicep - 12" to 12" (no change... but I see muscle now!)
Chest - 36" to 36" (no change... phew!)

Body fat % - 29.7% to 28.9% (not sure how much I trust this number though, the handheld device was all over the place)

Weight: 157.0 to 156.1 lbs (the scale went up to 158+ then back down to 156 and now it's hovering between 156-158)

Now for the awesome part... the difference in the weights I started with and the weights I lifted this past week for the last workouts. It's AMAZING to see the difference. I definitely started out a bit light until I knew what I was doing. Now I'm like, eh, what's another 5 lbs? I'll drop the weight down a bit if I can't do it with good form (CRUCIAL PEOPLE! Don't get hurt!).

Workout A:
Squats - 40 lbs to 135 lbs (I discovered the squat rack for workout 2 and jumped up to 65 lbs immediately)
Push-ups - I could do 15 reps with my hands on a weight bench (30 degree incline) and I finished with 8 reps of pushups with my toes on the squishy part of a Bosu ball for added difficulty.
Seated Row - 70 lbs to 105 lbs
Step-ups - Holding a 10 lb medicine ball to holding 50 lbs total (25 lbs per side) of kettlebells
Prone jacknives - I've always done 15 reps of these, I've been trying to keep my legs straighter tho

Workout B:
Deadlifts - 60 lbs to 115 lbs
Dumbbells Shoulder Press - 12 lbs weights in each hand to 20 lb weights in each hand
Wide-grip Lat Pulldown - 60 lbs to 100 lbs
Lunges - 20 lb kettlebells in each hand to 30 lb kettlebells in each hand
Swiss Ball Crunches - 10 lb medicine ball above my head to 20 lb dumbbell above my head

I'm taking half a week off since I'm going to Jersey to see the family for Easter weekend. I'll start Phase 2 on Monday, whoot! That one is shorter, it's only 8 workouts, so I'd imagine it will take about 3 weeks to complete. I'll do another progress blog update after that. My goals for this 3 week period:

- Try to cut back on processed carbs (not eliminate, but I snack on carbs quite a bit, I need more fresh food)
- Try to log on the weekends so I hold myself accountable.
- NOT FOCUS ON THE SCALE! Since judging by these results, it's full of crap, haha.